I'm Studying You

Owww. Don't. Touch. Me.

I'm a pretty good athlete still, considering my age and a training regimen that includes Walgreens, fast food and a pack of menthols a day.

What I am not, however, is a good recoverer. It's going to be a long summer.

As I've mentioned, the front of my house is kinda like the hang-out spot because of the kids upstairs. Everyone was over when I got home and it was a gorgeous day, so why not? I brought out my radio and hung out.

It's a really tight neighborhood. Houses are close to each other and the street. Which means you've got to be careful throwing a football around. Thankfully, my football was slightly deflated and my pump's busted, so when the ball hit the ground it didn't bounce much. The neighbors seem to be pretty touchy about having their homes and vehicles impacted by a small mass of inflated leather. And it was definitely a spirited game of catch with the pigskin, because I have a bruised and sprained thumb, a slashed up palm, and some sort of gigantic brushburn/rash abrasion on my forearm. Oh yeah, and every muscle hurts. It's tiring to blink.

But who gives a shit? I had a good time, the kids had a good time, the neighbor got drunk so I used his wife's car to take him to the store for more booze and he gave me a pack of smokes for my time...everyone wins!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ungKhW6ZLRI

Don't have any interesting stories today so I'll leave you with the best idea Canada has come up with since strapping metal blades to your feet and using a wooden stick to push a rubber puck across a frozen pond, or Crown Royal, and don't even front, In Your Dirtiest Pants , cuz you know this is so true . Don't be all hatin' on your fellow countrymen, one of which happens to be one of the all-time greatest improv frontmen in all of the history of music. Besides, I will be summoning plenty of courage tomorrow should the cramping in my entire body subside long enough to want to stand in a certain drugstore for any length of time and mask my ogling as "conversation" while wondering if a future's gonna come of it with a certain gorgeous cashier.

Enjoy your day folks. I'm off to take a bath in a tub full of Absorbine Jr.