I'm Studying You

today's mission: rain-delayed

There are worse things one can hear first thing in the morning besides: the garbagemen, construction outside your window, your boss calling to find out why you were late for work, or your roommate frantically struggling to get his stupid cat to stop pissing on my couch. One of those things for me is the sound of a heavier than average rainstorm. The kind that puts umbrellas to shame. The kind where you sprint the length of the driveway to the mailbox and back, only to have to wring your clothes out and towel off your hair as though you've been standing in your shower fully dressed for ten minutes.

Why does this bother me so much? Because it means my day is doomed and I'm stuck in the house all day, left to my vices and devices. My car? Long gone in the disaster that for the sake of this entry we'll just call "2007". Good thing I live in a decent neighboorhood with enough stuff closeby.

To make matters worse, the sun would pop out ever so slightly, the rain would slow to a dribbling mist, I'd get the urge to put the phone down, and then the sky would darken and the rains would come with such fury you'd think all of Lake Erie had (what's that process where water evaporates to form clouds? Yeah, that) and decided only to concentrate its wrath on my block. This chain of events repeated itself until about 1pm.

So I dicked around, which didn't chase the clouds or make the day go any quicker. Finally I took a chance during a break and paddled my way down to Walgreens. Much to my chagrin, Ms. CWC was not on the premesis. Went to Arby's for the unbelievable Beef-n-Cheddar 2/$4 sale (hold the red ranch sauce). Ate one, saved the other...who wants in on that? The auction begins at 934 gift points.

And here was the plan by the way, just incase the surveillance tapes don't make it on to youtube some day (this is not an actual conversation and it's not brought to you by On-Star, but this is what coulda went down):

me: Yo...you still mad at me?

her: (her answer will not be relevant)

me: Guess if that man's around you'll never know if I've got the stones to ask you out.

her: (her rebuttal will not matter)

me: I'd say on the 4th we should take the boys to the carnival, and when it gets dark we ditch them and grab a blanket and a patch of grass somewhere and stare at the fireworks while we get to know each other better. Maybe picnicy-like.

her: (anything less than a yes will not be tolerated)

So that was the plan. Didn't like the looks of the sky so I went back home, and was promptly assaulted by some jack-off on a 2nd story porch who shot like three bottle rockets in my general vicinity. So while it's still somewhat decent out, I'mma go and toss a Molotov Cocktail on his porch and try to hit up that carnival. Happy July 3rd!