Who Am I?

update on Jamie

Hi all...wanted to give you an update on how things were going here. 

If you haven't read my post from last week you will want to look at it for this to make sense--Falling apart and nowhere to go--or something like that...lol

We took Jamie off his meds last Tuesday.  He was happy happy boy.  He was also a bouncing ball who wouldn't or couldn't focus and impulse control was out the door.  Except for the 2.5 hours of school--there he was fine.  I swear his teacher thinks I'm making it all up.We started him back on teh meds on Friday...I feel guilty about it but I just couldn't take it anymore.

I emailed his teacher after a phone call today telling me he's extremely emotional and has been the last two days--and to save time will just copy most of it here....as the info I would share is mostly the same.

"Jamie is a bright and wonderful little boy who is full of energy and fun.  I feel like when we have discussed his ADHD that I have come across as wanting the medication so that things will be easier at home...especially since there doesn't seem to be a focus issue at school  Please know that the medication is one of the tools we work with and that there is discipline and interaction at home.  I'm aware some of what we experience--not following rules, distractibility, impulse control etc, are typical for a kindergarten boy.  Some of it will change as he matures.  I don't have a problem keeping a close eye on him--but especially before medication--knowing he was safe when playing outside with his friends and wasn't going to run into the street or hit someone and hurt them was a huge issue.  I'm thrilled and amazed he has no social issues at school and is getting along well with others because when he's playing outside at home (we live in an apartment--he mostly plays on the porch and in the grassy area and sidewalk within my line of sight) there are meltdowns and frustrations that lead to yelling and the other kids leaving--and then Jamie melting down some more because they have left.  Getting him to focus in the evenings to sit down and eat dinner or get ready for bed is difficult--everything seems to distract him.  AGain we are working on a behavior system (magnet/marble reward system) to help with some of it...I know that medication is only a portion of the answer--and it is the portion of the answer I am least comfortable with--I didn't want him on it and didn't want to have him diagnosed at this point--but I also wanted to be proactive and have him ready for school so that he can learn and grow with as few of the issues ADHD brings to the school years as possible. 

The smiles we saw on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday were wonderful...and one of the biggest reasons we took him off the medication--I want my happy little guy who enjoys life with gusto back.  I also know that once off the medication he quit focusing on playing--building with his legos, drawing, coloring, creating--and just spent most of his time running around, bouncing off the walls and getting in to things he knows he's not supposed to.  When we put him back on the medication it seemed to flip a switch--in one morning he sat down and colored a bunch of pictures--cutting and gluing and creating and made a book that we stapled together and he titled...it made him so proud (and he did a great job)....He came home from school and created an indian head dress and a "twin" friend that's half as tall as he is by cutting circles into several pieces of paper and then gluing and coloring and stapling (which I did for him.)  The next morning he sat and played with his cars, moved on to some other toys, and we read some stories. I don't care if he plays with toys, creates, or builds, whether we read stories or go outside and play or blow bubbles--I am thrilled that he focuses in school and is able to learn and get along with his friends--absolutely thrilled.  I was really worried that school would be an issue and he'd have problems.  That he isn't having problems is one of the bright spots of this journey with adhd.

I love my children and  choose to stay home so that I can be here for them before and after school.  I am also full time student and have to have certain times for studying and doing homework.  Regardless, I am available any time you need to talk to me...or any time something comes up with Jamie or if there is a need for a volunteer in the classroom (which I did last year with his preschool class.  My husband and I, as well as his therapist and case manager are all working with Jamie to find ways to work around the problems we have--coming up with tools (like raising his hand instead of interrupting--which has been a huge issue in the past).  I know that his ADHD is not extreme and that we are blessed.  He is a bright and articulate little guy who is sweet and loving.  We want only what is best for him.  Unless his medication is changed before tomorrow I will not be giving him the current medication--emotionally it's not worth it."

I'm waiting on a call back from the psychiatrist...I don't know what he's going to do..but focalin xr is obviously not the answer.  Something has to be...I wish she could see how he is off the meds --wish they dealt with some of what I do when he's off the meds...makes me feel so fricking much like I'm doing it for me, not him and that is the furthest thing from the truth!!!

I'll let you know what I find out.

Vicky