Defying Fortune

Little Fire

((The Music))
This is slowly becoming one of my all-time favorite songs. I've been listening to Patty Griffin for years now. There something about listening to her songs that soothes the soul. I've always imagined that if I took a road trip across the States I'd play her music with the windows down as I sailed through the Southwest. This song would definitely be at the top of my playlist during my travels. Emmylou Harris sings along for this one. They balance each other out well with their innate sense of acoustic guitar and raw vocal power. There's another song they did together a while back called "Beyond The Blue". Makes me smile every time I hear it. Definite road music on a day with a blue sky and fluffy white clouds.

((The Life))
The past couple of days have been interesting. Weird seems to be too harsh of a word. Interesting will fit just fine I think. I haven't stepped foot into class once this week. Have barely looked at my work for my online courses. This is a first, but a needed first if that makes any sense.

My emotions are like the rain that's been falling all day outside my window. Sometimes it is a soft drizzle. Sometimes it is a down pour. Sometimes calm. Sometimes a true chaotic storm. All the outside doesn't seem to matter as much. My soul is in serious need of reflection. I can't fight down anymore. This has been building for a long time.

Class will resume for me soon enough. I'm not too worried about, which is a big indicator that this was a nice reprieve even if I do get anxious about it at times. I've been thinking and creating and spending time with my family. I've allowed myself to be myself through and through. It helps. I'm not back on steady ground yet, but I'm definitely getting there.

Family and friends have been the gentlest balm through this process. My mom has been like a strong oak tree all my life. Her roots are planted firm in the ground. I can lean on her whenever I get tired - emotionally or physically. Through this she's been giving me sound advice as well as shoulder to rest my head on. She's backed ma in playing hookey for good sweet sake, lol. Can't get a better mother than that.

One of the best things about having my boyfriend also be my best friend is that there's no need to hide. We talked - more like I talked and he listened, lol. I know that whatever I'm going through he'll be right there to stand next to me, and he knows I'll be right there with him if he's going through battle of his own. Through this he's been there for me, and for that I am blessed.

So, today I took a big step. I went to the orientation meeting for a summer course in Belfast. Yep, Ireland. If I take the right steps I will be a student of Queen's University for three weeks this summer. Traveling has always been a dream of mine. There are some many places I'd love to see. I've talked it over with my family and my guy, and they say go for it.

To say I'm nervous is an understatement. To say I'm excited would be....well, absolutely correct. I've already promised to bring back my brother a Guinness mug and my SIL a shillelagh. I'm going to be on that plane come July. This is my new mission. This is my new hope. Now I just need to remember to breathe, lol.