The Snowflake Chronicles

Tinnitus: A Personal Experience

The noise resembles a buzz saw
Written in May 2009 and Edited in November 2009

Word count: 381

The continual ringing in my ears over writes most of what I hear or think I hear. The barking of a neighbor’s dog penetrates the ringing that is always present, even when there is no other noise around.

There are some sounds that my mind seems preprogrammed to hear no matter what other sounds are present. I hear the roar of a Harley-Davidson motor cycle speeding past the house.

I feel soft fur brush against my legs, one of the remaining cats has decided that closed eyes or not, I am away and my attention should be focus on him or her. The cat jumps onto my lap and rubs his face against my cheek. Only one of the cats does this, Prince and there is little doubt that he wants me to respond in the appropriate way.

When I ignore his request to stroke his fur, he begins to purr in my ear. His next action is to unsheathe his claws into my bare arm. Needle sharp claws penetrate my skin just below my elbow. It gets the reaction he wants, I lift my hand and place it on his head and the purring grow louder.

The ringing in my ear increases in volume when Prince finally decides he has enough ear rubbing and jumps off my lap. The ringing is always there increasing and decreasing in volume with the distractions of background noise. Some noises, like the air conditioner or the refrigerator never change the volume of the ringing. Other noises make the ringing less noticeable.

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I am setting in the living room on the love seat. The ringing is not actually a ringing. The noise resembles a buzz saw or a bee rather then an actual ringing in my ears. It is louder in my left ear then in my right ear.

There are times when I worry about the ringing, especially in the middle of the night when sleep evades me and the only distraction is the Metro helicopter flying above my neighborhood. As long as there is a lot of background noise or I am distracted with daily chores it is distant, but when there are not other noises or all the noises are identified, then the ringing or rather the buzzing is loud and noticeable.