Shouts From Down Under

Ha$ Chri$t been edited out of Chri$tma$ and other vital bit$

There must be a huge crowd in the room labelled I FIND EDITING TEDIOUS, FOCUS CHALLENGING, AND DETESTABLE.

I'm no exception, and constant interruptions from non-writers who don't understand, and place less than zero value on writing, let alone editing, make editing close to impossible.

Is this the answer?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/19/write-a-house-detroit_n_4474976.html
Free homes for writers in Detroit.

Thanks Rebecca Raisin https://twitter.com/jaxandwillsmum for the heads up. Perhaps I'll apply, but I wonder how the green card thingy works for creaky boned couples with a prodigy daughter in tow?



Bubble wrap.

Who doesn't like popping bubble wrap is a sad boring person, probably does it in secret, or is just a person who has grown up and matured beyond this childish giggle.

Mistakes in our writing, such as spelling, punctuation and grammar, are like loud bubbles being popped while the reader is trying to concentrate. So each pop heard is another distraction, diverting their attention from your story, lifting them a little more out of the immersion in the world you created.

Of course, you don't want this to happen, so it's obvious, instead of looking at editing and correction as a tiresome chore, think of it as popping bubble wrap, before the story is ready to be offered to any reader.

This way, they get a better reading experience, and you get to find those nice hard little gremlin bubbles hiding like rare quest items, and you can enjoy not only the challenging game of finding them, but the fun in popping each one.

Maybe that sounds like a childish game, a bit of a giggle as I said.

But while I'm not saying editing should be in any way frivolous, I'm thinking editing needs to be approached with the same energy, focus and atmosphere as when we first wrote the thing.

Editing needs to be done in the same way as we wrote, our minds totally convinced that this story is very important to all 7 billion people of earth. It's vital that it be told, as economically worded as possible, as grippingly as it can be written, and with every correction needed to clarify our message.

This story, fellow writers, the one you are editing right now, there in front of your face on the screen or whatever, this story will save lives. But only if people can read it and get it. Get you. They have to Get Us.

If you can get that mood back that you had while writing this, when you smashed down those words like an upended shotglass of passion, and knew in your gizzard that this novel would become the subject of scuffles amongst publishers, fist fights over the Nobel or Pullizer Prize, if you can recycle that mood and stop being so dreary, depressed and downright dopey, (ahem, this is me) then you'll find editing isn't so bad.

In fact it flies!

It races along; goes along like a trail of methylated spirits dribbled across a street, and lit with a match by juveniles, who then hid in the bushes laughing at the blue wall of flame; the approaching car drivers scared out of their wits.

Not that I would know anything about that sort of thing.

You know, sometimes, in the hype of things, Christmas, World Peace, Food production, religious fervour, even editing there can be a vital common sense thing missing.

Have you ever noticed that? Are you the person skulking at the edges of parties, on the fringes of conversations, watching from the back of classes, overhearing people at cafes (cough cough) and it's so plain to you.

There is an obvious thing they have missed.

There can also be know-alls too. I wouldn't want to be up myself and think I know it all. No. Except in my story that I'm editing and know that it's vital to human existence and the continuance of the human race as we know it.

But that vital thing is missing.

I was shown an example of this missing phenomena where I work. I was cleaning the ablution block, MEN'S as it happened, and a guy who'd just put the services to good use said, you know, there's something missing in this brand new high tech set of amenities.

So, I'm puzzled.

The place is cutting edge and very nice. Very trendy, hygienic and user friendly. Politically correct and well thought out, engineered and completely environmentally energised.

So, what could have been missed? I was drooling at the thought of inside information for this blog. Yes, hanging around toilets is where it's at folks.
He said, well, you've got all this equipment to wash your hands and dry them. The works. Hand gel, soap dispensers, grit soap even, mirrors, taps, basins and the new Dyson hand dryers like in the airports.

Sounds quite...acceptable. But, he said, where do you wash and dry your face?

Hmm. No where in here, that's for sure. No toweling, no napkins, no endless roller thing where you reef the towel and get a new piece and it's changed every day or two. Not even a toilet paper roll next to the sinks. Nothing at all.

And he's got a good point.

And my point is, we can learn all we like, do as many courses as is available and within our budget, talk to many people, inhabit all the social network sites, have thousands of literary friends, but still, there can be a tiny bit of vital information missing. Because it's vital.

It's vital.

And with writing, and editing, especially editing when we are hit by the strong wind of apathy, a decent fist in the face of "it's already done, what else is there now?" and an itchy, sweating, scalp uncomfortable-ness of greener pastures elsewhere.

In the video I took above, with the lukewarm meaningless most useless passion lacking subject devoid title I could think of, "Snail Pellets on the radishes", I wanted to demonstrate how it can all be there.

Scenery, characters, dialogue (if a bit muffled), colour, flow, linking, grammar, vegetables, empathy lifting mood, famous place objectifying etc etc etc.

But, there's a vital thing missing isn't there. Not only does it have no real purpose, or underlying back story, no reason for being, it has no CONFLICT. (apart from a couple of mutterings like muted storm approaching

Editing.

Without editing, we'd be missing a vital thing in life. Publishing. Fame. Lots of Moolah. Status. And up your noses for all the gainsayers and can't do its.


Thanks to Wordsmitty ✍️ for his help, among others, in adding my prefab signature at the bottom of blogs.
Before this helpful advice, I was manually (that word again) copying and pasting this from my notes. Every time. Eventually I figured out I could just ask.
So, there's another bit of vital in life that has been found.

Not as important as editing, but now you may realise, consistently, who writes this blog after all this time.

Like Dad Jokes that are missing that vital thing; humour.

heh. h. he. h ah hehe . a ha . HA. he HA HE A. ah HAHAH. HE A He ha Ha HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Sparky