Who do I still think I am??

This one's about Edgefest 2014 and winners!!

30DBC PROMPT: (Apparently there's no prompt today. I won't shame the guilty party because it's not really worth my time to do so.)

Good evening friends! I hope everyone's had a great weekend...I've got a lot to get to and I'm kinda excited today for a few reasons, so let's get right into today's awesomeness.

First, I'd like to say congratulations again to the winners of the contest I've dubbed "The 10k Views Giveaway". According to the Virtual Dice, Joy won a Merit Badge sponsored by Elle - on hiatus , while CJ Reddick took the grand prize: a "Major Shower" package (including reviews, a Merit Badge, and more) from the "Showering Acts of Joy Group" . And most importantly, 20k was donated to "RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group" . I have to thank Charlie ~ , Cobe , Elle - on hiatus , and everyone who's read, participated, and tolerated me throughout the last week or so. I promise...no more updates about views and such! Now, back to our regularly scheduled blogging activities...sort of.

I'm also excited today because, well, lemme set it up like this: two summers ago, I was going through some really unfortunate times. No need to rehash the details. But it wound up being my last summer in Buffalo, which meant going to my last concert in Buffalo...which turned out to be Weezer on the then newly-developed Outer Harbor. And it was great because I'd never seen Weezer before...but it was a bit disappointing because even though I'd worked my way very close to the stage, the band ignored my screams requests to play my all-time favorite Weezer song ev-arrrh  .

Well, today the Buffalo alternative corporate rock whores radio station 103.3 The Edge   announced their annual summer Edgefest show, and Weezer's headlining along with Brand New and The Sheila Divine...which is a pretty sweet lineup as it is, and the rest of the supporting acts haven't even been announced yet!

I've probably been to four or five Edgefests over the years, and I've seen a lot of great bands...Our Lady Peace, The Tea Party, Jimmy Eat World (right before they got huge), Moby (playing with a live band), Billy Idol, Hometown Hero (most of which went on to become AWOLnation), 30 Seconds To Mars, and probably more that I don't remember. It's an all day thing, and the fact that it's on the sprawling Outer Harbor means it's bound to be an amazing time.

It's also worth noting that The Sheila Divine was from WNY and has a pretty big following still, and the drummer from Weezer is from the Buffalo suburbs as well.

So now all I have to do is figure out how I'm gonna get down to Buffalo for a few days, and hope I can score a ticket and some people to go with. It's August 10th, a Sunday...which means I'd have to be in town no later than Saturday evening, and find a way back to Buffalo on Monday (unless I miss a few days of work...but it'd be so worth it). If I'm able to go, I won't feel so bad about missing Weezer this past weekend when they were in Rochester (where they played friggin' "El Scorcho")...the girl I saw them with in Buffalo posted a video clip, and I was severely jealous. Brand New has been in WNY a few times since I left, and I caught The Sheila Divine at the Outer Harbor in 2011  . I don't even care who else is playing, to be honest...I'll be happy enough just being there.

BCF PROMPT: "Who shows you the way?"

I kinda heart prompts that unintentionally match each other in some way or another. The "Blogging Circle of Friends " 's and "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" 's prompts sorta have like a "found and lost" theme goin' on (or at least they do in my head).

Y'all know I'm not crazy (or even moderately enthusiastic) about organized religion, but I've dabbled slightly over the years in Taoism...which is basically Chinese philosophy that, well, I'll let Google explain it to ya: "the absolute principle underlying the universe, combining within itself the principles of yin and yang and signifying the way, or code of behavior, that is in harmony with the natural order. The interpretation of Tao in the Tao-te-Ching developed into the philosophical religion of Taoism."

I'll admit it's been awhile since I've done any kind of studying on it, but I've found two books that are very helpful: The Tao Of Pooh   and The Tao Of Wu  . Both teach in a very down-to-earth, easy-to-relate fashion that really feels more like you're learning the meaning of life as opposed to some stuffy, rigid religion that seeks more to condemn you for your sins than provide some enlightenment.

Personally, I glean instinct from the world around me. I guess that's a roundabout way of saying "thanks, but I'll show myself the way", meaning that everything is trial and error, and I'm bound to make mistakes...but as long as I learn something and avoid repetitious failures, I'll be ok. It takes a lot to get me to trust anyone else to show me "the way", whichever way is implied in this instance, and faith is a hard and troubling concept for me. If there is anything at stake, anything worth having, I would prefer the control to be in my hands and mine only...if I'm to be disappointed it will be because I let myself down, and if I come out on top it will be because I earned it. Plain and simple. No one else to blame, and no one to steal my joy or lay claim to my success. Life is so less complicated that way.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

If they're only given a half-hour time slot at Edgefest...well, screw that. They should be allowed to play New Parade   from front to back.

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

"Tell us about a time you ran away from something or someone."

Sometimes running away from something or someone (sorry to repeat the prompt in the first sentence; I consider it bad form) isn't a physical thing. Running away can be a simple act of avoidance, or an unwillingness to confront things happening both right in front of you and/or indirectly around you.

Part of me moving from Buffalo to Cortland was an act of running, more or less. There were a lot of factors involved...among other things I had no family, friends were dwindling, money and mental health were both in short supply, etc. I basically bottomed out, and the only choice I had was to run. For all the great things I say about the city I'm from, I know the other side of it too. The people who promise you something and don't deliver, the failed relationships, the bruised egos...whatever, I'm not gonna cry about it. But I had to get away from it, even if it meant that while the name on the map would change, the people might still be the same. The only way to beat that second part is to not give people a chance to hurt you...even if you have to sacrifice the opportunity to let someone make a difference in your life. I'm not ready to take that risk yet; I don't know if I'm ever gonna be and I've already made peace with the idea that I have to handle being by myself for a very, very long time. I tend to leave a path of destruction and bitterness wherever I go- whether it's intentional or not is separated by differing opinions- and I'd rather not keep doing that. I've done a tremendous amount of changing in the last year and a half...mellowing, reflecting, not getting wrapped up in stress and drama. There are still parts of me that will always be me, but I know I can't keep running forever. I just hope my mental legs can hold out long enough to suit me until I find out where I'm supposed to fit in the best.

Speaking of running...yup, it looks like that probably won't happen at all for a really long time. Remember how I said last week my physical therapist thought I was overdoing the home exercises? Well, now she wants me to do more...partly because I need to show more progress, and partly because my insurance will only cover a few more visits, so I have to cut down my appointments from twice a week to once a week while upping my home exercises. And (her words, paraphrased) because of my trimalleolar fracture  , which is a very traumatic injury that is difficult to heal properly, I don't see the same progress that she sees. I want it to be fixed and pain-free; it's not really gonna work out that way. Her goals for me versus my expectations? Two completely different things. She acknowledged that I won't be running this summer (or at least looking like I know how to run like a normal human being who hasn't been through what my leg's been through, all while being pain-free as well). While I'm grateful for these heart-to-hearts with my PTs, mentally they're a little soul-crushing (even when they're trying to lift me up and show me how I've made progress). Sorry to keep whinin' about it...I'll try to limit that in the coming weeks.

I have a big test tomorrow though...my first 9am-4pm shift at Capco since March. Granted, I'll be able to sit quite often...but still, it can be tiring and my compromised limb fatigues easily. Guess we'll see how it holds up being nearly three months removed from surgery. When I first started at Capco it'd been over a year since my previous operation, so I had lots of time to walk on it and build up some strength. I'm not anticipating much difference this go-'round, but ya never know.

Great news...the Hockey Hall Of Fame announced their Class Of 2014 inductees   today, and included is legendary goalie Dominik Hasek. In my opinion, he's the greatest goaltender to ever play the game...because of his style of play, it took him awhile to catch on in the NHL, but once he did there was no equal. His acrobatic athleticism, his passion, his uncanny ability to somehow will any part of his body or piece of equipment in front of a puck...the records, the stats, the awards...incredible. Were it not for some of the truly mediocre teams he'd been forced to carry, he may have had numerous Stanley Cup trophies in Buffalo during his tenure in the crease. I'm glad this past season he was able to bury the hatchet with the organization that allowed him the opportunity to become a star in the league. #39...The Dominator, and Hockey Hall Of Famer.

I think I've said about all I can today. Watch...there was probably some semblance of a prompt posted five minutes after I started bangin' out this entry. Oh well. Be prepared Like I said at the top, I'm not gonna shame anyone for not givin' us the heads-up in a timely manner, and my days of chasin' down people are over. I suppose I could've written my BCF and BC entries and rocked the refresh button a few times, but nah. Not my problem. Anyway, time to see what else is goin' down around here. Peace, all the more real, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!