Everyday Canvas

Giving People Extra Chances

"I don't always believe in second chances. People usually show you their true nature the first time around. It's not wise to give them a second opportunity to disappoint you." Ashleigh Catibog-Abraham
Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Why?

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I not only believe in second chances, but I also believe in fourth, fifth, and sixth chances because the main reason is, people can and do change—in most cases. For my own safety, however, I shy away from giving a second chance to a violent person. In that case, I watch her or him from a distance very carefully.

In other non-violent situations, I can be much more relaxed. Giving extra chances to people has its benefits. Let me chew the fat on this for a while.

• With a second chance, I might find out that, with my initial view of that person, I might have made a mistake. Now, wouldn’t that be a nice surprise to find out the truth?

• I might have been in a bad mood or might have done something to hurt that person’s feelings knowingly or unknowingly, thus drawing a wrong conclusion. My bad!

• That person can be from a different background as to another country or religion and his/her behavior can be the result of that background. Giving them other chances may mean expanding my horizons and getting over my social biases I am not aware I own.

• Not only with his or her background but also I might have misjudged someone based on that person’s other characteristics of age, outward appearance (clothing, hair, etc.), gender, race, or social class. In this case, I have to ask myself if anything on the outside of that person has influenced my initial opinion.

• Then, I have to really ask myself what the feeling was behind my negative opinion of that person. Was it a false hope, a misplaced jealousy, falling victim to someone else’s gossip, or high expectations? Was that person knowingly or unknowingly stepping inside my personal space or territory?

In short, think my belief in second chances has its roots in the understanding that I know I’m not and never will be perfect, unfortunately!