Sanguine Tenacious Tidings

Another Story

Most families have sent a relative to fight in their country's wars. Indicate the relationship you had with a family member who went to war and what his/her going or returning meant to you as a child or as an adult, depending on the relationship.

One of my aunts told me that my mother had a brother who flew airplanes. When the British put out a plea to the USA for pilots to fly planes in WWII, my uncle answered the call. His plane went down fighting into the English channel. His body was never recovered. Since relatives have been telling me stories all my life, I have never been sure this is true. Nevertheless, I think of a lost Uncle now and then.

I was married to a USA Air force Sargent. He served in Viet Nam for two years. We were married for ten years. During those ten years he moved in and out of our lives whenever the military sent him somewhere. We had two children together, two boys. He died in an automobile accident in 1972. We actually grew up in the same neighborhood. His family moved across from my dad's farm, cleared land and built a homestead.

A branch of the military put out public information after the Irac war explaining some of the problems faced by military families when the boys go off to fight. I was happy to see them addressing family problems and conflicts in such a blunt manner.

I have one of those mental rooms that are storing all the energy, thoughts, memories and other paraphernalia concerning this period in my life. I go into that room once in awhile to store new thoughts there. I am still waiting for him to return. Richard's absence has affected my whole life.

I graduated from high school before we were married. I was capable of handling all the problems that come up in life without a man. I wanted to get a job. He wanted me to stay home and raise children. He bought me a horse and set up stabling. While he was in Viet Nam I took riding lessons, attended church, and cared for the boys. He left me with two cars. When one did not work I sent it to the garage and drove the other one. I paid the bills and waited. I taught the boys their ABC's. Then learned to play guitar.

After he died, I counted the time and figured we had spent about six years together out of the ten we were married. Women who wait for men to come back from war become self sufficient in a lot of ways. Then when the men return they are looking to take control again so there is a bit of a struggle until people settle in. Because, there were two years in Viet Nam, one and a half years in the Panama Canal, attending schools to gain rank, and small jobs at other bases because he was good at his job so, he moved to places to cover a job for a month here and there, we probably were never specifically settled until he left the service. From the moment they leave for the job you wonder when they will return, if they will return, Or what shape they will be in when they come back.

He died one year after we left the service. I was devastated. No one in this rural area understood the situation. Once again it was up to me to keep going. One of my uncles told me Richard was one of the nicest people he ever met. He was right. An old friend of his in the Air Force said he believed Richard would give the shirt off his back to help someone. He was right. He was always helping someone, but he could be tough too. In some respects, he was a rascal. He had a spark in his personality that drew people to him.

Plus, years later when I kept examining the situation with more knowledge, as I aged, I wondered if he did not come back from Viet Nam with PTSD. He once told me about being the first person on the scene, when a pilot's seat ejected on take off, to close to the ground, to open the parachute. How bad he felt that nothing could be done. Richard was stationed at Cam Rhon Bay. He saw the wounded come into the base. He never got use to the death and destruction of the war.

There was a serious stress relationship in his job because he was a sheet metal expert. After, every run, planes have to be gone over inch by inch. Loose metal can bring a plane down in flight. Metal fastenings can come loose from environmental causes in flight.

Both of us grew up in a rural setting. The boys were the tough kids in school. My brother went into the Navy. Richard and his older brother went into the Air force. Our family farms were not big enough to support families in the 60's. Families encouraged their sons to enlist. There was still a draft. Money for college was not an option at least for our family and Richard's. The military provided on the job training, discipline, and pay.

Civilian life after ten years was culture shock to both of us. I will always wonder how life would have been for us if we had survived the change.

There really is a life story here. Our grandparents saw WWI. My aunts and uncles saw WWII and Korea. My generation Viet Nam. Then boys off to Irac. Since then, terrorism, countries fighting over land, Taliban, ISIS, misinformation, and mental misalignment galore.

The local high school has children demonstrating with signs and sit-ins because the high school is going to drop the history curriculum. I should look deeper into the story. I don't know enough about it to write about it. It occurs to me to wonder how it will affect college entry?

I am reading a new book, "The Unteathered Soul" by Michael A. Singer. It is about how to " Keep On Keepin On."

Everyone has a story! "Write it!"