Porthole

Snow and attitude

Two blog responses since I can't come up with any brilliant ideas at the moment. I've been focused on my upcoming trips and the details necessary to make them both worthwhile.

So to HikerAngel:

"A long long time ago... I grew up in the Land of Snow.

Still look forward to every First Flake and say good-bye to The Last.

I was never fond of its nasty cousins Sleet and Cold Rain.

Today we had sunshine, perhaps snow tomorrow.

To Joy:

I have difficulty wrapping my head around this [attitude versus action]. My wounds and traumas don't quite allow me to self-examine at times. I just want to scream, "leave me alone".

When I was homeless it was probably attitude that kept me there but also kept me alive. I did survive! My attitude kept me from acting. I felt wounded and frightened and hid in my cave. But... it also helped me survive that cave, that jail-lite that no one wants to recognize for its demeaning nature.

What got me out? Having a case-worker, a therapist, a lawyer, a lawyer's side-kick, and a psychologist help me get "disability". Once I had income (I was practically penniless for over two years) I had the key to set me free.

Mind you, I needed help at first. Kinda like a man kept in a dark hole allowed to go outside. The light can blind. Little-by-little my situation improved and life went back to 'normal'. I then acted to leave that all behind.

But my attitude has shifted because of that experience, as have my actions.

Today: Sunshine. Tomorrow: maybe snow!

Today: Checked on budget for my two trips. Soon: need to transfer money to my debit card.

Everyday: Be thankful because of... or in spite of...

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