PORCH PONDERINGS

Sleep on Demand Command

Yesterday I had to go have a sleep study done. Ever have one? Well it was an experience. It was at the sleep lab at the hospital. I was escorted to the little suite by the technician. He hooked me up to all manner of cords and electrodes on my head, my chest, my finger, my legs, my nose and then left alone for a few hours in a room until bedtime. Once it was lights out, I was instructed to do a few things for the camera, oh great! They can see me sleep. I was not to sleep on my stomach. And oh yes, if you have to use the bathroom in the night, just call out and someone will come and unhook the cords. And that person will also open the door to let in ALL the light and wake you up. Then goodbye and go back to sleep again. Right. Sleep on demand command to an insomniac.

Well, I don’t know about anyone else, but usually when I wake up I have TO GO TO THE BATHROOM NOW. So now with the added burden of not sleeping, I have to worry about getting to the potty in time. It should be interesting to see if I slept at all, and for how long. But then your perceived problems are usually not as serious as they seem. I don’t think I sleep at all at night. Now I have to wait for the official report.

So at 6:30 AM I am released from the hospital with the whole day in front of me to shop. There is one problem, no shopping to be had at that hour in Billings. But breakfast can be had, so I head down to the local pancake house and kill some time with breakfast and WIFI.

I had forgotten how prevalent the homeless problem is in Billings. And then I got to thinking how hard it must be to be homeless in Montana. This isn’t exactly the best place to be outside in the winter without shelter. The tech at the sleep lab said in Hawaii they will give you a free one-way ticket out of the state if you are homeless, they have such a problem with the homeless there. He also said that on Oahu the tourists are warned not to go to the beaches after dark because of the dangers there. Evidently the shanty towns are a real problem.

So I roamed around to all the stores doing all the little chores, not wanting to go back home early. It is rare when I get to be by myself in town. So I am getting ready finally to head home when I realize “what?” I had scheduled a dental appointment at that very second and I am at least 5 miles from the dentist’s office. Gee whiz……..And I don’t carry a cell phone so I go racing down the streets trying to get there and not be too late. And not wreck the rental car in the meantime. What a deal.

Finally when I get home, you’d think I’d be so exhausted from this ordeal. But no……sleep again evades me. I ended tossing and turning all night, then getting up this morning at 3 AM and reading for an hour or two before I crawled back to bed to lay there for an hour or two. Pain in my behind…….

But at least today maybe one thing keeping me awake is out of my house. The non-profit direct mailing is in the post office. I had fretted over that for a few months. It’s a done deal. All the fliers will hit the post office boxes and home mail the next few days. We may make some money on the appeal, or it may be a bust this year. Time will tell. It is 2020 after all.