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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4151232
Review #4151232
Viewing a review of:
Sunshine and the Strawberry Stand  [E]
Poppy has too many strawberries this year and Sunshine comes up with an idea to share them
by Sewcrazy Again 🤗
Review by ~Lifelessons~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*GiftR* WDC 15th Birthday Reviews *GiftR*


Greetings Sewcrazy Again 🤗 my name is ~LifeLessons~ I found this little sweet story in the fiction list. I love strawberries and your title drew me in for a tasty treat.

First Impression

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This is a short sweet and wonderful little story. A children's story I would presume. I can see illustrations using wonderful colors to grab a little one's attention. Spending time with Nana and Poppy is such a positive way is so exciting for any little one. The nick name Sunshine warmed my heart as it comes from two people who love this little one so much.

To dream of strawberries falling from the sky gave me quite a giggle!! The joys of a light heart of a child. I loved the idea that even after the stand was closed the neighbors were still hanging around enjoying each other's company.

*BalloonP* Structure *BalloonP*


It was nice how you started off the story introducing your characters without going into a history rant. It was an easy pace to read without getting into too much detail. Being a story for the young I think you did an excellent job from beginning to end. There is no conflict to resolve here and none needed. The flow was good and easy to read.

*CakeP* Suggestions *CakeP*


I would like to point out a few things I would change here. The spacing is crowded. A little hard for the reader to read through without re reading the same line twice. Spacing between dialogue allows the reader to follow each character's thoughts a little easier.
Punctuation should be revised. I noticed your comma is over used and in places there is no need for. Watch your quotations and where they should end.

These are only my thoughts and I hope they are of some help. Otherwise a great little story that I really enjoyed. Thanks so much for sharing and we hope you enjoy our week of celebrating the site's anniversary!! *GiftR*

~LL~
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/02/2015 @ 2:00pm EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4151232