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Review #4353918
Viewing a review of:
Observing Daybreak's Magnificence  [E]
Prose-Poetry
by GabriellaR45
Review by Cadie Laine
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello, Cadie here reviewing on behalf of "Game of Thrones I hope you enjoying all the reviews you've received. We've all enjoyed giving them. On the business...

Overall Impressions~
I was expecting this to be a poem of some kind simply because of where you placed it in your portfolio. It seems more of a short description for a story or a piece of your life in order to record it. That's good too.
The flow of the piece showed what was going on around you very well, I could see what was going on around you well. Yet would have liked to know what the deck around you looked like. You wrote about the day breaking in the sky? What colors did you see? Did the trees glisten in the sunlight from the night time dew? I think there could be more added here if you wanted to.
The tone of the piece was peaceful and quiet, I gathered that as you looked off the deck. What book were you reading? Then sort of just dropped off as you wrote about your parents passing and buried under the trees that were apart of the property.
This is a good piece. I recommend adding more details to it to help the reader see what is going on better. Although, it is good just the way it is too.
Thank you for sharing, Keep writing.
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.


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