Hey there, Cadie here reviewing for Language of Erotica.

As the assignment stated you were to write the scene as a short erotic story and a pornographic story. You did well in both aspects of the assignment.
There is one correction that I would make:
I wanted her so much it hurt. I wanted to thrust inside her and show my gratitude while listening to her moans of joy. Omit "and show my gratitude" I'm not sure where it fits unless you're talking about her panties being a gift.

You've done well in describing your scenes.
Thank you for sharing and Keep writing.
Cadie.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .