I spotted your poem in one of the gardens at "Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus]" , and as one of the gardeners, I am here to read and review your lovely offering!
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
The first line really grabbed me and urged me to read more and the rest of that stanza did not disappoint!
The entire poem is powerful and can be interpreted in a couple of different ways; which makes it appealing to a larger audience. There are different types of 'wars' that people face - actual combat war like you are talking about, but people with mental illness face a different type of war. Many of the words and phrases you utilized can be used in both examples.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
I didn't pay any attention to these because I was so wrapped up in the message and the word choices.
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