![Flowerr *Flowerr*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerr.png)
Happy Anniversary Month Gervic! Thanks for all you be and do to make WDC Shine!
I am happy to review to celebrate you.
![Delight *Delight*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/delight.png)
The active imagery in your first lines drew me to read on. I could really see the poet and the personification of the pen is cool. I thought the idea of "dance" and "prance" was delightful and fun. The simple title fits the poem as your next verses explain what words can do in a positive and negative way and how important it is to pick the right ones in communication.
![Penb *Penb*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/penb.png)
The lines flow well with a consistent rhyme scheme but some lines are longer than others. The only ones that pulled me out of the flow were in Verse 2 line 4 and verse 3 line 2. I think In verse too you can drop the cumbersome "but sometimes" and just say "Or make them feel..." for smoother read.
![Quill *Quill*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/quill.png)
In verse 3 "Some may see it worthy but for others may find it tactless" The word "for" is not needed. I wondered about making the statement direct instead of using "may". As is "Some see it worthy and others find it tactless." It tightens up the line too.
![Wink *Wink*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/wink.png)
I do see that the use of the "may and might" tense is consistent in the verse though.
![Smile *Smile*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/smile.png)
Still that line could be shortened. Maybe a comma after "worthy" to replace "but for".
In line 1 verse 3 "can not" should be "cannot".
![Penv *Penv*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/penv.png)
Ending in a query is evocative and appeals to the reader to form an opinion. It is a good question and I would say it so depends on the situation.
![Wink *Wink*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/wink.png)
Standing up for self care is important but trying to control and not mind our own business is another consideration.
![Star *Star*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/star.png)
Thanks for sharing this thought provoking poem that has a vibe of the wise!
eyestar at "
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"
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and "
Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus]"
You responded to this review 05/29/2022 @ 11:07am EDT |
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