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Review #4675594
Viewing a review of:
 siblings  [E]
my siblings and i
by K Lang
Review of siblings  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


Hallo!
I visited your portfolio because it was your WDC Anniversary earlier this month.

The title and brief description intrigued me. I'm guessing you've written these without any capital letters as a style choice.

This has begun well - but it looks like it has been left incomplete. I was looking forward to reading a heartwarming anecdote about a family moment, but it stopped! I was wondering whether to review it, and then decided I should anyway.

Suggestions:
1. Please pick one more genre to give this more exposure on site.
2. You've plunged into the incident straight off. I think somewhere, either to begin with or down the line, I'd like a physical description of the people (given they're real people) and each one's age when the incident occurred.
3. Some WritingML like font, size and line-space to make this easier on the eye.

As I said, this is unfinished but I thought I'd send you a revew anyway. If you decide to complete it and feel like sending me a link then, I'd really be happy to see how it turns out and to re-review it then. It would be nice to read about siblings who are close-knit!

Write On!
- Sonali

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