Hello, I'm StephBee and I am reviewing your story for

SURVEY

Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR) Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes! #1207944 by Writing.Com Support

Thanks for entering.

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Middle Schooler Kimberly Morrison has become blind, a challenge that invites her to explore inward the type of person she wants to be.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author fit in the quotation inspiration quote into the story. The title was appropriate to the story.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited from Kimberly's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Kimberly

The story is a psychological examination of Kimberly's psyche, though I'm still not certain, as a reader, as to how or why temporary blindness overcame Kimberly, and perhaps that could be made a bit clearer to the reader. I thought Patrick was a good friend to Kimberly.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to present the story.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

For me, I thought this was a pretty heavy topic for a 12 year old in middle school, and I wasn't sure about the how the onset of the temporary blindness occurred. The opening engages the reader. Good luck in the contest.