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Hello, I'm StephBee and I am reviewing your story for
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. THE STORY After a series of operations, Eternity St. Claire discovers she can see the future. But can she change it? WHAT I LIKED I liked the pacing of the story. The quotation inspiration ties into the ending and really brings home the essence of the story. POV NARRATION/TENSE This is told in the third person limited by Eternity. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately. DIALOGUE There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Good use of dialogue tags. DESCRIPTIONS There's enough to set the scenes. I especially liked: "As the waitress squeaked away in her white sneakers." The visual is succinct and uses a good economy of words. SETTING TIME: modern day? PLACE: urban setting This is something that could be clarified just a tad more as it's either modern day or near future, I wasn't sure. CHARACTERS Eternity There's enough here to understand her motivations. After a serious of accidents, she's forced to seriously examine her self reflection. It's a time of growth for the character. MECHANICS I did not spot any spelling/punctution mistakes. PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. I enjoyed the story and Eternity makes for an intriguing character. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
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