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 Review #4741678 |
 | Avocado Deviled Eggs  [E] Family recipe harmony  |
| (4.0)| I  Food-related writing is a very special genre to my heart especially Easter Food. The Avocado Devilled Eggs recipe sounds divine and definitely something I want to try making too. What a bonus that it came with such a sweet, emotional story and how relatable it is that we miss the food our parents used to cook for us that we want to recreate it. Great hook to your story. I absolutely love that you started it with the Avocado Devilled Eggs recipe.   .What you need to pay attention to in your story is formatting. When you are showing the actual email text that the MC has typed to her sister, you need to italicise it because as a reader, I was actually quite confused about what I was reading and when I realised that it was an email message that the MC had typed, I had to go back and reread the copy again. Another thing that stuck out to me was the paragraph formatting of your story. It needs to be improved. You could use indentation for every new paragraph or for web-writing, put a space in between each paragraph. Poor formatting of stories are one of the main reasons why reviewers choose to scoot over your story and it's very important. We can't review what our brain can't process. Because imagine if you want to publish a story, if you do not meet the required format, your story would be tossed out anyway no matter how good your piece is so always pay attention to formatting. Always think about how easy it is for your readers to read your story and this is actually a pet peeve for me as I'm sure it is for many others. I've also spotted a punctuation issue: He never hid; that bottle sat right out on the table for all to see. Only for these reasons, I gave you 4 stars. Otherwise, story-wise, love it. So, don't hide a story of good potential for such reasons. Your story is categorised under Flash Fiction. And as most flash fiction stories are, the opening began in medias res whereby the inability of the MC to recreate her family's Avocado Devilled Eggs recipe is also the inciting incident. It introduces the conflicts that arose from her not remembering the recipe: 1. Man Vs. Man - The conflict between the MC and her sister because her sister refuses to give her the name of the missing ingredient in the recipe. Also, because her sister can't make it for Easter Dinner, she had to prepare her sister's specialty which was something her late mother used to make. 2. Man vs. Society - The MC is afraid of letting her Easter Dinner guests down if she could not reproduce the exact same recipe her mother had made. 3. Man vs. Destiny - MC thinks that she is destined to ruin Easter Dinner and she had wanted it to be perfect and to make it perfect, she needs to know the exact recipe to the Devilled Avocado Eggs. As for characters, they are very believable. I like how the MC teases her by not telling her the secret ingredient. It's so real between a sibling relationship. I like how "dad" and "mum" are painted in the memories of our MC (Main Character) and SC (Supporting Character). Themes of the story would be food, ingredients, family, Easter, Avocado Devilled Eggs, recipe, sisterhood and email. The climax of the story would be when the sister finally told the MC what it was and the MC couldn't believe how she could have forgotten it. The story is told in a linear timeline. The ending of the story is so emotionally sweet as the sisters recalled their memories of their father who always had hot sauce on the table. It's also very realistic that sometimes, we forget what we see all the time as we take them for granted. And when dad and the hot sauce were gone, the MC missed it. The A story of this flash fiction is the external conflict whereby the MC is trying very hard to remember the final ingredient for her Avocado Devilled Eggs recipe. The B story of this flash fiction is the internal conflict whereby the MC misses her dad very much and had almost forgotten his quirky love for hot sauce. Having a multi-layered plot in a flash fiction is what makes the story good and for you to achieve that under 1,000 words deserves an applause. Well done! I enjoyed reading your story. | 08:54 (+8 GMT  , 4 April 2024, Thursday |CC: 4739 The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for sharing this with us and Write On! Elycia Lee ☮    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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