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 Review #4742288 |
 | In A Life Of Hope  [13+] My take on life today. Is it the same for everyone?  |
| (4.0)| Hallo Spiritual Dawning ! I will be reviewing your work "In A Life Of Hope" on behalf of "House Targaryen Points" for "Game of Thrones"  Content: The poem is a take on how the poet feels about life for the day; there's an air of almost bitter contemplation and yet introspection on why one keeps on going through each day despite the odds. Pluses:The first stanza seems to be an anthem for a majority of people these days. Humanity does continue its endless march - an endless cycle of repetition. And while some are desperate to find time to breathe/relax and have fun after such tedious work, others are wealthy enough to flaunt it shamelessly. In the last line, the plea is one that can be felt by most readers. We do sometimes just want to give up at the unfairness of it all. In the second stanza, it seems like it's being addressed to one person in particular or perhaps 'Life' is the one who received a song from the poet. Yet, while the third line states that love is a cure to make everyone smile, the last line in the poem tells of how the poet still finds themselves being forced to live through each day with dark thoughts. In the third stanza, the poet appears to be crying out for help; needing someone to give them some kind of support to get through those meandering dark thoughts. Hope is the key word here, and it's something the poet tries hard to latch onto. The last two lines is recognizing the presence of a higher power that reminds the poet of why something as simple as the sun being in the sky is so important. In the last stanza, it also relates to the third where the poet emphasizes how life has already been planned for each individual even before they were born. Although this does beg the question if we do not have the free will to change fate? Is one simply just pre-destined to live a life of suffering or to wade in success? Food for thought there. Lastly, I have to point out how well this rhymed. Made for an easy and smooth read. Suggestions:Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it's ultimately up to you to choose what works best. >>You rated this poem as an 'E'. However, the third line in the first stanza contains a non-E word according to Writing.com's guidelines. So, my recommendation is to up the rating to a 13+ at least. >>In God I smile as I know what he mean't (was that on purpose? Not sure why the apostrophe is there) >>The poem does read as a collection of random thoughts strung together, and it's somewhat difficult to pick on a particular thing to tie them all. However, I think the underlying theme is the need to believe in something; something that will make each day more liveable for you.    Thanks for sharing this poem with us. It was a pleasure to read. Keep on writing!   Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/06/2024 @ 7:51am EDT