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 Review #4750648 |
 | Jumping Spiders  [E] Clara takes the prize for most unusual  |
| (4.5)| Hi Purple Princess ,This review was written on behalf of "The WDC Angel Army" . It is written for Week 19 of "I Write in 2024" Disclaimer The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group with which they are affiliated. These are only the opinions and suggestions of the reviewer, and they are given solely for the purpose of being helpful. What I liked: I loved how Clara is very much like her Grammy. They are both unusual, but they are both similar, and they are proud of it.  Okay; I'll level with you: Spiders terrify me, and the thought of ones that can jump ... Oh, my goodness. My skin is crawling just thinking about it. However, my phobia did not stop me from enjoying the story. Because the spiders aren't the most important part of it. What I take from it is that everyone is different, we all like different things. Some may think we are odd, but it doesn't matter. We are who we are, and who we are is more than good enough. It made me laugh when Sara commented that the children were frightened because they were "only five." Only five? If you gave me a box of jumping spiders, I think I would set a new record for running a mile! This description of Clara's classmates is wonderful: She thinks they are, "a whirlwind of youthful energy." That's such a keen observation. This is contrasted with Sara's feelings of loneliness as she she thinks about her late husband. That is very moving. I love how well you have taken the prompt words and inserted them into your story. It's an imaginative direction to take it. I'll bet no one else chose that path. Suggestions: Just a couple of minor suggestions. " ...she found herself without a daily companion to share her life with." I would take out with at the end of this sentence. You have already said without earlier in the sentence, so this isn't necessary. Also, there was a brief tense change here: "The sporadic visits from her daughter and granddaughter only underline her loneliness." Everything else has been written in the past tense, so I would keep this the same. Parting comments: Despite the fact that you officially creeped me out, I actually enjoyed this story. It is a tale of the loneliness that getting older brings, and it shows how family can either help cover your loneliness, or add to it. I think Sara might get more visitors if her garden wasn't a haven for jumping spiders. Just saying. Choconut
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You responded to this review 05/09/2024 @ 6:41am EDT