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Review #4752062
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The Land of Mirrors: Part 1  [ASR]
A 23-year-old woman is bored with her job and wants a way out. Then she finds a dimension.
by Leslie Loo
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings,

Thank you for requesting a review.

First I’ll get the pesky formatting details out of the way. On WdC it’s preferable to use Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and compatibility across devices. A word count at the top of each item is also nice, so we know what we’re getting into. Other than that, you’re pretty good.

It begins in a relatable everyday fashion, describing a young lady’s discontent at her dull job in realistic, down to earth terms. When it begins to get to the fantasy area with the magic spray, it feels rather comedic. I wondered if it would be a quick-witted Alice in Wonderland/ Through the Looking Glass kind of thing, with layers of humor and a subtle satirical theme. Or perhaps it was just totally goofy, since the primary genre is Comedy. But the Otter’s introducing the premise of the magic spray, and the idea of escaping to an illusory world where beautiful perfect scenarios can be seen but never quite experienced, is quite powerful and carries a lot of potential.

Your choice of an otter is adorable. I can envision this as being the beginning of a touching Disney movie, where the heroine learns how much better it is to make the best of real life rather than being drawn into a dream world. If I may go off on a tangent (which I often do in my reviews) it reminds me of the Frozen sequel and its aftermath, which many Frozen fans have objected to as the post sequel world has been developed over the years. It appears that Elsa, rather than living with her sister Anna in the real world of Arendelle, has chosen instead to live alone in a far distant northern ice land, with four elemental spirits and the ability to relive the past In vivid memories of her deceased parents. This new scenario, people say, negates the entire theme of the original Frozen movie, which was to embrace the differences that make one unique and use them for good in the world one is born into with one’s family.

Meaning that you have an extremely significant theme here that is worth developing: does the heroine venture further into this mirror world, does she become in a sense “addicted” to it, does she find a way to reconcile the pain of everyday existence with the potential of what could have been? Is there a time warp involved?

I really enjoyed this beginning, and I look forward to seeing more of it down the road.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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