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 Review #4753197 |
| (5.0)   Greetings, H❀pe! I am reviewing this because I am part of "I Write in 2024" . Your post is previous to mine.  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. The Positives/What I Liked I love your title: Core Physics! It's the perfect name for this short piece. I always enjoy a fun play on words. Is this for a specific activity? I noticed you included the prompt at the bottom, beneath your story (along with a word count), and also have chosen Activity for one of your genres. The reason being, I might be interested in an activity like this.   You've done a great job with this in only 100 words. The dialogue between a kid and his mother, is very realistic. It flowed along nicely. It appears you've put some extra time into this, too, by changing the fonts between the two people speaking. I like it! Suggestions/Comments to ConsiderParagraph 2: “That’s not actually true Mum.”  “That’s not actually true, Mum.” You left out a comma for pause. Otherwise, everything else looks great! Final ThoughtsThis is such a typical conversation between a mother and son. You've done a great job with this! (Plus, I may have learned something about physics. )Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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You responded to this review 05/22/2024 @ 4:31pm EDT