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Review #4757761
Viewing a review of:
Don't Ask me of News  [ASR]
How many ways can we lose?
by winklett in the woods
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings,

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

You approach a tragic and timeworn subject - war - in a fresh and creative way. I like the rhyme scheme and flow, which is easy to read and brings continuity without being overly trite. The theme is clear, and we can feel the pain of the narrator as a Gold Star parent in a timeless and stateless setting.

I noticed one awkward moment: “excited to battle with me” sounds like the son wants to argue with the parent, which isn’t the case at all. Other than that, a line count and using Size 4 Verdana font, I would also recommend using three relevant genres, possibly “War” and “Drama.”

This was a heartfelt and haunting read.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4757761