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Review #4758950
Viewing a review of:
Merry's 14th Birthday Party  [E]
My pet dachshund gets spoilt rotten on his birthday
by HollyMerry
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#4758950
Review by JACE
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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An Angel Army Review


Hi HollyMerry .

I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Merry's 14th Birthday Party" .

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. I found your story in the Read & Review feature under the Navigation menu. When I saw who the subject was, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to review him.

When my wife and I returned to the states after a tour in Germany quite some years back, we decided to get a dog. Both of us fell in love with a beautiful reddish, long-haired dachshund. Merry, I'm sad to say out-lived her. But we had some wonderful times, and Abby too enjoyed walks with us, though we stayed under two miles.

I enjoyed reading your story from Merry's point of view. Fourteen years is a long life for a dog. You wrote this almost four years ago. I hope Merry has overcome the longevity drawback and still thrives--Muffin too.

Good descriptive writing. I was sorry Merry's party was re-located due to weather. But such is life. He handled it well. It always amazes me how important pets are to our own well-being. And they are much more loyal than people can be.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet* Of minor consequence but thought I'd mention it here. The comma should really be a semi-colon.   Muffin is so delicate when she lifts the flaps to find the hidden treats, I prefer to boldly shove the flaps aside.  

         *Bullet* The following line seemed an odd turn of the phrase to read. Perhaps it's just my Americanized view of it.  Muffin was straight in my new bed before I had chance.  

*Star* My Rating.  4.5. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 06/29/2024 @ 2:44pm EDT
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