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 Review #4760055 |
 | Indifference  [13+] Sometimes, it's the things you didn't say.  |
| (4.5)    Belated WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY wishes from "Anniversary Reviews"  Celebrating your offered writing here with a review. Sorry I missed your WDC Account Anniversary last month, Eight-7 , I had been putting together notes and a few thoughts on "Indifference" . Just too much on my plate last month.This was an interesting yet. You did well to put reader in story. I did not get their tension at the outset. What follows were some quick moments jumbled together to assemble a few scenes that help a reader feel something about the two of them. I enjoyed that it was left up to me to ascribe my feelings, whether based on experiences similar to this. What is most remarkable is that I could feel the impact of each of their actions, as I know intense emotions and reactions and stubborn will like this. I chose this title because of genre and to see how someone who seems to prefer conflict like horror and war, handles a relationship story. This is where we find out if the writer is stunted because of a bad relationship and wants to write through it, describe, see where to take it, be it resolution or just to show a conflict that leads to something difficult to overcome. I began with that first line and the bias it builds for a reader waiting to be hooked. That first sentence 'replaced their conversation' found opportunity to describe the type of conversation that might tease what we've walked in on, imagine reasons the conversation could stop, already filled with bias based on genre, title and description line. But, assuming those things don't exist, great place to show and describe...does a voice tail off, does someone hush the other, was it angry? I felt that pause with the hair brush, to cue even me to listen in. Good story teases just a little tidbit at a time. Or, blows the door wide open, as with some, and then gives back story and tells us how we got here. This story is beginning in the moment. Only, the reader steps into the story at that break. The omniscient voice is relaying info as past tense. Feels like fragmented recollections from his POV, written to distance oneself from what really happened. His character is the protagonist for sure. She also can be someone a reader connects with, after she muffles her crying. His reaction might seems as indifference. Each character reacts differently and it's not know what the disagreement is. When I had a woman this intense and got in a care to leave me, it was to carouse and see if she could find another man to hurt me with. It had a familiar feeling with the quick scenes that could use a bit of a time element at the end, from after her sobbing, his checking phone, to her driving away. I thought it would be him because he had stepped out. I could reader closer and perhaps find that interstice where time does reveal. So, I read this twice. Truly the context is summarized in the title line for this offering. I am not as locked into fiction these days, as I want to be. I'm moving away from poetry for a bit to see how my comprehension and reviewing skills with prose fares with my current limited vision. A pleasure to share my reaction and impressed with a read that shows a great handle on displaying this vignette with smart, forward thinking characterization and scene development. A nod also to the psychological aspect and how communication fails, that reveals a bit of experience with this, possibly embellished or veiled, personal story. A pleasure, Brian WDC Super Power Reviewer   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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