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Review #4766315
Viewing a review of:
 
Skuz-bucket  [13+]
Daily Flash Fiction "Tell me who you really are" winner 1/13/14
by JustTurtle
Review of Skuz-bucket  
Review by Tiggy in Antigua
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*




*PenB* First Impressions:

Just 290 words, but you managed to tell a lifetime of backstory in this tale. You did a great job with the prompt, and even though he didn’t answer the question, the readers still found out because she already knew. You even revealed how she found out - even after changing his name and moving far away, he was unlucky enough to run into someone who knew who he was. The readers can fill in the blanks: Maybe that person told her, or perhaps they greeted him by a different name, either as a friend or a former enemy. The readers also get to decide for themselves if he did, as he claimed, have good intentions, or if there was something shady going on. She didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt and decided it was the latter.

So the readers got to know a lot about him, but her reaction revealed a lot about her. The way she thought about a world where everyone was truthful seemed to indicate that this wasn’t the first time someone had lied to her. And the thought hadn’t just crossed her mind - she fanaticized about it so it was extraordinarily important to her. She also wanted everyone to be happy with who they were, which made me think that either she was struggling with that herself or had some experiences with someone else who was.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was well written and I only noticed one tiny error:

Fists clinched at my side
I think that was meant to say “clenched”.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

It seems like this guy picked the wrong woman to lie to. Obviously no one likes it, but the main character in this story seems to have a particular aversion to it. There was no chance to explain, no do-over; he was out and that was that. It was an interesting reaction and made me wonder what exactly had happened in her past that made her behave that way.

I think you did a great job with this story because, short as it was, I found it very thought-provoking and I enjoyed analysing both characters’ actions and trying to figure out what they meant. A good read!




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