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Review #4774549
Viewing a review of:
 summer, hold me  [E]
The sadness I feel every summer. So I go for a walk.
by B. Tels
Credit this reviewer
#4774549
Review of summer, hold me  
Review by ruwth
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)

May God bless both of us as we grow as writers together!


B. Tels,

Welcome to Writing.Com (a.k.a. WdC). I hope your time here will blossom as mine has over the years.

Here is a link to an item in my port that gives folks the answer to "How did I end up here?" .

One of the great things about WdC is reviewing. We read each others' writing and give feedback. Some folks give detailed reviews telling folks what that can do to improve their writing. Others just say something short like "I liked your poem". Others ramble a bit.

Can you tell which I do?

My first item was a poem. I have that poem displayed in the trinket below. Trinkets are sort of like baseball cards—you can collect them. Click on the one at the bottom and it will open. Click again to COLLECT it and it will open more. That is when you will see my poem.

I am not a poet but there are lots of poets on here.

I chose you and your poem to review today because of your Brief Description:

"The sadness I feel every summer. So I go for a walk."

Those words tugged my heart and made me want to read more! That is exactly what we want our Brief Descriptions to do.

I just noticed that you chose three genres. That is a wise thing to do. I means your work will show up in more places on here.

You start with "Summer makes me sad". That surprised me because so many folks have that response to winter and wait for Summer to revive them.

As I proceed to reread your poem, I am able to see a depth of connection with nature. I just reread these lines:

Winged pine cone seeds
Which descend, not fall, past me


My first time through, I missed what you meant by "not fall". This time I caught it, I think. These are the seeds that almost have wings and swirl down, right?

My reread of these words are what prompted my comment about your connection with nature:

Little creatures Feverishly churning decay into fresh, Ripe soil


That is a level of nature most people don't see...

I love the trees giving you butterfly kisses and the wind drying your tears.

I am relieved to read "All better now."

I have no suggestions for improving your poem. I would suggest editing your title and capitalizing the first letter of each word.

You use caps everywhere else. I think it would be better to use them there as well:

Summer, Hold Me


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