This week: Judging the Lawyer Edited by: THANKFUL SONALI Now What?  
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| So I was watching a game show and got to thinking about how quickly we judge people based on various criteria. |
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Dear Reader,
I'm going to start by saying: If I went for one of those quiz-game shows and they asked me my name, I'd probably get so thrown by the lights and the audience, I'd request multiple-choice options. So it's likely I won't go on a quiz-game show.
Today's newsletter is, however, sparked off by someone who did go on a quiz-game show and flunked out on the first question.
The question was:
Which month directly follows November in alphabetical order?
She answered 'September' and walked out empty handed.
Now – wait – I know what you're going to say. You're going to remind me that I would've forgotten my own name under lights.
And I'm going to respond that this contestant happened to be a lawyer.
What's that got to do with it?
Well, aren't lawyers supposed to think on their feet and not get thrown by their surroundings? Shouldn't she have been able to tally 26 letters of the alphabet with 12 months and get the right answer? This wasn't something obscure that an individual may or may not have come across. This was the application of a simple thought process. There was no time limit to answer, she could have taken as long as she liked to work it out. The contest host even hinted to her 'talk it out'.
So I judged this lawyer. I decided that I wouldn't want her to be my lawyer.
Now, reader, are you going to judge me because I admitted to judging someone else? Are you going to say that at least she put herself on the line, which I wouldn't have the courage to do? Are you going to say that nobody should judge anyone else out of context – she might be great in her office and in the courtroom and wherever else it counts? Are you going to say that in any case, nobody should judge anyone via just one incident?
Mostly, I'd agree. I still wouldn't hire her, though, as my lawyer.
Which makes me think in a wider way of how we judge people.
Mostly, we judge people by our own yardsticks and our own priorities. In this case, it was important to me that this lawyer be able to think something quite simple through without making excuses. That would be my priority in hiring a lawyer.
Someone else might say that she was bold enough to appear on the show, and that she looked like a charming person whom it was easy to talk to. Also, she was a sporting loser! 
So if two people are going to make joint decisions, the decision needs to be taken according to their joint priorities, and if these clash it can be tough.
Here in India parents pick whichever school they want to send their kid to, by whatever criteria they apply. A kid might travel over an hour each way in a school-bus to get to the school of the parents' choice, passing by a lot of perfectly good schools along the way.
What is important to parents while picking a school? Academics? Sports? Co-curricular activities? Snob value? The peer group the kid is gonna get? Proximity to the home? Any of a gazillion other criteria?
When parents talk to me about their kid's school, I usually don't mention the names of schools I've visited as a freelance educational resource person. I simply tell them to pick the school in which the values most match their own.
What I DO tell them however, is not to judge a school by its website or brochure. Usually I have found that an overly-impressive brochure or a very slick website means that the school is spending resources on those, probably at the cost of teacher training and classroom materials (maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so!) I also tell them to visit the school try and meet the person who'll be spending a lot of time with their kid and figure out if they LIKE that person. It's as simple as that - did you like the person your child is going to be spending hours with?
That's it for now.
I just thought I'd share some stuff about 'judging' that came out of watching a quiz-game show!
Thanks for listening
PS: A few days after I'd submitted my Newsletter, this one came up under 'DRAMA'! 
"Judge and Jury"
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Thanks for the responses to "Preach what you don't practice"
tracker  TBH I was tired when your newsletter appeared. I almost scrolled on because there are so many things to read and do. I am glad I stopped in. Excellent advice! Thanks.
Pumpkin  Very good advice. You are fortunate to be so level headed and confident.
Beholden  That's very good - preach what you don't practise. Of course, it's only true in some circumstances but it does shed light on the saying, "Practise what you preach." That's all well and good but it doesn't mean we can't learn from what we didn't do. An excellent point, Sonali.
werden Thank you for this newsletter. I always enjoy your newsletters because I get to read things from another culture and a different way of viewing things.
Yes, we can definitely share our experiences with others and help them to possibly avoid the bad choices we made.
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Spiritual: May 22, 2024 Issue [#12535]
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