This week: Backstory - Always rooted in Childhood? Edited by: THANKFUL SONALI Now What?  
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| I'm 56 years old, and I attend a monthly poetry meeting conducted by a 32 year old. We would appear to be from different generations, and therefore have experienced different parenting styles - but during a long conversation recently, we found we'd been parented rather alike, and this affected our adult interactions. |
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Dear Reader,
He's 32 and his dating scene is a mess because as a child, he was told he was ugly.
I'm 56 and I'm a menopausal virgin because as a child, my Mom didn't think I was pretty enough.
He's 32 and has had serious issues with cigarettes and alcohol, because as a pre-teen, his mother or aunt escorted him everywhere to ensure that he didn't 'smoke or drink with his worthless friends'.
I'm 56 and I second guess everything I do because as a pre-teen, my Mom, Dad or Nanny escorted me everywhere - I was supposedly too innocent (read stupid) to do anything whatever by myself.
We're 24 years apart in age - technically I could be his mother - and yet we discovered that we were parented in very similar ways, with very similar results.
The 'backstory' to each of us being single may be said to be in the people we have broken up with or not dated at all though we could have / wanted to -- but finally, the emotions stem from what we were told in childhood.
The 'backstory' to problems with addiction or lack of confidence could similarly be attributed to peer pressure or other sources, but can finally be traced back to childhood.
We respond to everything, each step of the way based on our childhood experiences. We either reinforce them or (if we're aware of what's acting on us) consciously behave the opposite way to try and negate them. Either way, it is an answer to the voice in our head that started up in childhood.
I'm going to refer to my go-to series here - Harry Potter. Take Snape, Dumbledore and Voldemort. All are responding to what happened to them in childhood, in one way or another. Now, take Albus Dumbledore's brother Aberforth, who grew up in the same house and yet had a very different childhood. While his brother became a revered Headmaster, he became the owner of a shady pub where Death-Eaters met to transact illicit deals. And thus, he could provide his brother with valuable information about the enemy.
In short, I think characters can be written more deeply and 'roundly' if you can trace the back story to their childhood.
Thanks for listening!
- Sonali |
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For Authors: June 12, 2024 Issue [#12583]
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