  Spiritual
This week: The Trouble with Stereotypes Edited by: Kit  
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In-groups, out-groups, stereotypes and biases. We're all susceptible, and likely to be affected by them. Even when writing and reviewing!
This week's Spiritual Newsletter, then, is all about awareness.
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Do you stereotype people? No? Well done, you're a better person than I am. I'll honestly admit that if I were standing alone at a bus stop at night, and I was joined by an elderly lady, I would feel more comfortable than if I was joined by a tall, muscular man covered in tattoos. It's unfair, of course. The man might be a thoroughly nice guy, and the elderly lady could be vicious. I don't even have anything against tattoos – I'd probably have one myself if I weren't afraid of needles. Deep down, though, I seem to associate elderly + woman as safe, and man + tough-looking as a potential threat.
The creation of stereotypes is part of the human tendency to create in-groups and out-groups. Every one of us is part of several in-groups and therefore not a part of certain out-groups. Over time, we may move between groups – for example, I once was a child and now I am an adult, and I am a student and will one day be a graduate. It is not uncommon for members of an in-group to see members of an out-group as being similar. We know that we're a diverse lot from all walks of life, but they are all the same. Sometimes men will declare, “Women are addicted to shopping; you can't trust them with your credit card!” or women will complain, “Men just don't know how to do romance!” Most people know that there are plenty of romantic men, and that there are plenty of women who aren't all that fond of shopping (and who certainly wouldn't use their partner's credit card), but stereotypes persist.
You don't even have to dislike a certain group to stereotype them – there's simply a prevailing tendency to reserve positive emotions (admiration, sympathy, trust) for one's own group and to withhold them from out-groups. That is why it's easy to ignore the homeless, or to target the unemployed with harsh measures, or to be less than welcoming towards immigrants, even if they have settled in a country quite legally.
Why am I raising this topic in a Spiritual newsletter on a writing website? The reason is that people of faith are not immune from in-group behaviour, nor from stereotyping. In this day and age, Muslims face a lot of unpleasant judgements whilst, obviously, every Muslim is an individual and should not be judged by the actions of a few people who happen to share the same religious faith. Likewise, the tension between Israel and Palestine has renewed negativity towards Jewish people, whilst Jewish people, too, are individuals. Westboro Baptist Church is not representative of Christians. Nor are all Christians opposed to science. And Pagans don't all dance around fires in a state of undress. All of us, regardless of our faith (or lack thereof), are different people, with different views and different personality traits, and we're all traveling along our very own path.
When we review the work of others, stereotyping can occur. It's easy to read someone's work and conclude that if a writer believes A, they must believe B. Maybe they do, maybe they don't. During my time on this website, I have read reviews in which, instead of offering helpful feedback on the piece, the reviewer found it fit to question or even challenge the author's beliefs. Most of the time this wasn't done in a malicious manner
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It's easy to believe that I am thoughtful, open-minded, and open to different perspectives. Why, then, can it be difficult to believe the same of others? We tend to fall victim to the self-serving bias - the tendency to perceive ourselves favourably - and to the false uniqueness effect - the tendency to underestimate the commonality of one's abilities and one's desirable and successful behaviours. Am I saying, then, that we do have a lot in common after all? To a certain extent, of course we do. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't account for our differences, nor that we shouldn't respect those differences.
All of us have the ability to love, and be kind, and be generous. All of us struggle at times, mess up at times, and we all have our flaws. It would be good if we could treat out-groups the same as we do our in-groups. That may not be realistic, but, at least, we could be aware of when in-group/out-group behaviour occurs, and to try and halt, or minimise, its effects.
Speaking of in-groups - I hope that you have enjoyed W.Com's Birthday week, and don't forget, there are still a few contests open for business! 
kittiara
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Elfin Dragon-finally published  - Compassion of ones fellow man/woman is a wonderful thing and often difficult. As you said we live in a world where it's not an every day occurrence. For me, I believe the Bible tells us to practice it every day. Whether it be in small things such as opening a door for someone or the larger aspects, such as sitting down and listening to someone's problems. And sometimes giving a hug to a frightened friend.
I fully agree that we should be compassionate every day. As you say, a hug, a smile, listening to someone's problems, opening a door for someone... they all make a difference. Thank you for being a person who does these things for others .
It was good for me to spend a day of, I guess, being aware of the need for compassion. It's too easy to overlook opportunities to help. Hopefully, this awareness will last.
~~~
Beautiful Candy  - Hi! Thank you for your topic about compassion. Showing compassion can truly change the course of life. I personally dedicated myself in listening to other people's problems and concerns. Why I do that? Because someone else had also given time listening to me and saved my sanity. I am forever thankful to that person.
Thank you for sharing the link. I never thought an egg can do miracle. I also watched the video about Thich Nhat Hanh. Deep listening...that's what most people need now.
I guess, I will add to my watch list that particular course in Coursera. I am presently enrolled in some of the courses in there.
Happy day!
It is a wonderful course! I hope it will be held again, so you can join in . It's a challenging one, but so worthwhile.
You are absolutely right that listening to other people's problems and concerns can make a difference, and even change the course of someone's life. Thank you for being compassionate!
~~~
Quick-Quill  - I liked this NL. I didn't know about this DAY of COMPASSION. But a day helping others is a good day for all. My friend had his 60th birthday. They asked for no presents but to bring School supplies they could gift to Foster children. I had so much fun picking up things I hadn't purchased in a long time. I followed a lady with a 4th grade list and bought a few of the things she did. I put them all in a cute backpack (1$) and they loved it.
That is so very sweet of you! Fun as well - I love picking school supplies. Thank you for your kindness and generosity - I am sure that it will have been appreciated.
~~~
ANN Counselor, Lesbian & Happy - Wonderful idea; getting a group to purposely be compassionate for a day then share experiences. I've always made myself aware of the hurting heart, the heavy heart facing a problem, and others. When I feel God's presence in the moment, I lend a part of myself to the person; and something magic happens. It's not every day, although it can be. Great newsletter; keep writing with such depth. ann
Thank you, Ann. You are a lovely, compassionate person .
~~~
Wishing you a week filled with inspiration,
The Spiritual Newsletter Team
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Spiritual: September 10, 2014 Issue [#6544]
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