Between Love & Hate (Part 2/5)

{b]

4.

          I got up to answer the door. Sam never rings the doorbell, I thought. I checked through the peep hole and saw Matt standing there, waiting for me to answer. I sighed and opened the door.
         “What.” I said flatly, without even opening the screen door. He said nothing and motioned me to come outside with his head. I reluctantly followed him onto a chair on my porch.
         “What I really need from you,” he began. “Is all of you.” There was a serious look in his eye but I could never really take him seriously.
         “Okay?” I said rudely. I honestly didn’t care what he had to say. He continued.
         “And since you’re not willing to give me that…” he paused. I just looked at him, completely disinterested. “Then I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” He stared intently at my face, waiting for me to show some sign of caring. It never came. I had to suppress a smile.
         “Okay. Well, bye!” I said, almost too cheerfully. He lingered for a second looking confused and got up. He turned around several times on his way out to his car. He probably kept turning around but I was back inside with the door shut already. Finally, I thought, I don’t have to keep pretending to be a partier. I was glad he was finally gone. I didn’t have to go out and be in that dreadful environment against my will. And I could spend more time with Sam, which I learned was necessary for both of us. I guess that’s why Sam started smoking, because I wasn’t around as much. I couldn’t blame him. Now that I was back, I figured he’d quit.
          I went into my room and continued reading one of my many books. Someone knocked on my door and I yelled for them to come in. I held my place with my eyes as my mom came in and sat on my bed. I looked up, saw she was obviously going to stay a while and turned my book upside down on my lap. She created an awkward and still air when she came in. She had put her fake blonde hair into a pony tail and had on her work out clothes.
         “Do you want to come work out with me?” she offered. Of course I didn’t. I never did. I didn’t want to become as fake as her with her fake blonde hair and fake never-ending stamina.
         “Not really.” I said, avoiding eye contact. She looked disappointed.
         “Okay.” She started to walk out. I flipped back over my book and continued where I left off. She stopped just before the door and turned back around.
         “I wish you’d come with me to work out. You need the exercise.” She was right, but I didn’t like talking to my mother. She took the hint and rarely talked to me. She was the exact opposite of me. Very high maintenance, designer clothes, hair fixed perfectly by her weekly appointment, overly exercised, and fake amiability. I don’t know how I was related to her. I had anything but designer clothes. I bought most of it at weird stores in malls and occasionally thrift stores. My hair wasn’t fixed, only because it was pretty the way it was. It was so long it went halfway down my back, almost touching my bra-strap. It waved in the perfect spots, making it seem as though it took hours to achieve. It didn’t. I got out of the shower and let it air dry, it wasn’t my fault it looked the way it did. I can’t even remember what color my mom’s hair was before she dyed it blonde and cut it short, but I don’t think it was black. My dad was an artist, and how my parents even slightly fit together was a complete mystery to me. He had his own art room in our basement and would always be down there working on a new painting to sell. My mom hated that he never got a real job and took matters into her own hands. She brings in most of our income by planning other people’s weddings. If she were home enough, she’d rule the house. But since she’s not and since my dad is very laid back and very busy, there are few rules, if any.
         My sister, I feared, was growing up to be just like my mom. She followed her lead by not talking to me ever and played with her makeup and high heels. I could already tell she was going to be a baby prostitute by the time she hit 8th grade. I was one and looking back, I hate them. Wearing 2 inch long skirts with tank tops, walking around the mall hoping to attract older guys’ attention, or at least the attention of your crush. Never worked but tried anyway. I eventually grew out of that by the end of 8th grade, thankfully. I saw my sister as being one of the baby guarls and steered clear of her.
          “I don’t want to.” I said simply. She shrugged and walked out looking disappointed, shutting the door behind her. I started reading again. I had gotten the book yesterday and was already almost done. I went to the library a lot; there was one in walking distance from my house. I’d usually go during the day before another party and read before and after. I was currently reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I loved books like these that made me contemplate my life. It was almost the end of summer already. The last few days were always the worst, there was never anything to do and school supply shopping was always put off until the last minute. I read for the rest of the night, only stopping to get a snack.
          Over the next few weeks, Sam and I were Sam and I again, I never saw or spoke to Matt, and I felt perfect again.

* * *

          It was the last night until it was a school night and Sam and I wanted to do something special. We thought about it for a while, coming up with nothing.
          “I know what we could do.” Sam said finally. “But you might not like it.”
          “I’ll do anything. We have to do something tonight. What is it?”
          Sam hesitated. “We could go get high.” He said in such a way it seemed as if he were asking. I had only smoked one other time, and that was the first time I met Matt. And it sucked and hurt and just ew.
          “I thought you said you’d quit?” I asked cunningly.
          “I hardly do it anymore, but I haven’t quit.” He admitted. I thought about it for a while. It was the last day of summer. Twice couldn’t hurt.
          “Alright. Let’s do it.” I said. Sam’s eyes got big with surprise and excitement. A smile emerged.
          “Are you sure?” he asked, making sure I wasn’t crazy or something. “You don’t have to, you know.” Sam was so sweet. I knew he really wanted to go do this with me but wanted to make sure I was completely okay with it. Sam. Always putting other people first. I nodded my head yes and smiled back with him. He immediately got on his phone and called a few people. Apparently the first few didn’t have what he was looking for and then he called Lily. After sitting there listening to her talk for a moment, he looked up at me and got excited. I guess she had some.
         I met Lily last year through one of my classes. She did a lot of drugs but still seemed to have things under control. We talked at school and at lunch but weren’t out of school friends. I had no idea Sam and her talked more than a few words at school with me around, but I guess when you go pot head you get to know fellow pot heads in your area. She had short blonde and crazy hair currently (she changed it a lot) and purple unnatural eyes. She had a very small frame and looked as if she could be broken easily. Since she was skinny and short, about 5’4, she wore heels a lot. Actually, I think she would have worn heels a lot even if she was taller because it went with the way she dressed, modern punk or whatever she called it.
          I was pretty sure she had a tiny crush on Sam. If we were talking in the halls and Sam came up to me, after he’d walk off she’d tell me how hot she thought he was. I just rolled my eyes and said, “Sam?” and started laughing. One time I asked her if she liked him. She got really tense and she looked just above my eyes and at my eyebrows with her fake purple eyes. She said, “No, of course not! Sam? I could never think of him that way! He’s like your brother!” She tried to play it off very casually but she was bad at it. Either that or I was good at picking up on lies. I hadn’t talked to Lily all summer so it might be a little awkward, but didn’t let Sam in on that.
          Sam and I got into his car and he set off for Lily’s house. Surprisingly, she lived about 5 minutes from my house. We pulled into her driveway and Sam turned off the car. I thought he was just going to run in and get it but apparently I had to get out too. We walked up Lily’s front steps. I could see in Sam’s face he was very excited and I feigned excitement although I was mostly anxious. Sam rang her doorbell and we waited.
         “Sam,” I said quietly, in case Lily answered the door. “I’ve never really smoked before. I tried it but I sucked and choked and died and so you have to teach me.” I said nervously. Sam smiled and let out a chuckle.
         “Relax, you’ll be fine.” He winked as Lily opened the door. Her hair had changed and was a bright reddish color. She greeted us a little too enthusiastically and we made small talk as she led us into her room and shut the door. Sam sat on her bed and I followed his lead. I was very awkward being at someone’s house for the first time and never really knew what to do with myself.
          “How much?” Sam asked while pulling out his wallet. Lily was sitting at her desk, rummaging through a drawer.
          “It’s free if I can come too.” She said as she pulled out a baggie and a familiar pretty colored pipe I had seen so often with Matt. Sam looked at me, as if asking my permission through brain waves. I looked back at him, not knowing what emotion to have and he turned and told her okay. She stuffed the bag and pipe into her odd purse and slipped into some heels. “Let’s go.” She said and headed out the door. Sam followed her and I followed him.
          Sam got in the drivers seat and I instinctively got in the back, as I always gave up the passenger seat for someone else. I sat in the middle of the backseat, so I wouldn’t be covered by Lily or Sam’s seat. I hated being covered and then consequently ignored from conversations. This way I could still be a part of it while still sitting in the back.
Sam started driving to a place I didn’t know about. I asked him where we were going but all he said was “You’ll see.”
          Lily turned to me. “I didn’t know you smoked, Arielle!” she seemed excited that someone else she knew shared her habit. I told her I never really have, only trying it once and it didn’t really work out. She laughed at this and told me she’d teach me how to do it the right way. Finally we got to an empty abandoned field and got out of the car. We sat in a little circle close to the car. Lily took out a lighter and the bag and stuffed the pipe full.
         “Okay Arielle, this stuff is stronger than normal so you only have to hit like 2 times.” She said knowingly. Sam and Lily acted as if they had done this together before. Sam put it up to his mouth and inhaled. It was awkward to see Sam doing that. It just didn’t look right. He passed it to Lily and she did the same. Then she handed it to me.
         “Are you ready?” She asked. I wasn’t but said I was anyway. She told me as she handed it to me that I needed to suck in and then let go of the hole and suck in some more while she lit it for me. I didn’t have the biggest lung capacity and wondered how I would possibly do this. I did what she said. It burned my throat so I coughed out the irritation. I passed it to Sam because I figured I was supposed to. It went around again and this time I didn’t cough. After a few more times I noticed Sam’s eyes They looked just like they did when Elena had broken up with him and I had come over; red. I began to think about how I should have realized he was high and not crying. The back of my head started to tingle a bit. I realized I was still looking at Sam’s eyes and that he had realized to. I started laughing, except I forgot to put the noise in it. Sam started laughing too and I turned my head to look at Lily. She was dumping out the ashes as she muttered “Cash.”
         Then I felt detached from my body. I was fizzy and numb and I loved it. I kept realizing that I had a permanent smile on my face. Then I started to hear silence. And it was really loud. I asked Sam if he heard silence too.
          “El,” Sam said to me, laughing. “you’re so baked!” I guess he was right. I was so slow and the world was too. I looked over at Lily looking at me and giggling to herself. I looked at the field. Everything was so much prettier and sharper and clearer. I looked at Sam for a long time. He was really close up. I reached out and touched his face to make sure it was really that close. It wasn’t. I scratched my arm to see if I could feel it and I almost did. And then I felt no pain in my life.
          I made my head go in circles for dramatic effect and landed in Sam’s lap. His jeans were really soft.
          “You’re high.” I thought to myself. “This is what high is. You can still think for yourself. Everything just looks pretty. This isn’t a big deal.” I stared off into space for a minute or two. “Wait. Am I dreaming? This feels like one of my dreams. No, because I remember this whole day up until right now. No I’m awake. But I’m having an awake dream. Cool! An awake dream. I can’t wait to tell Sam! I wonder if I can have these all the time.” I closed my eyes and opened them again, deciding I wasn’t dreaming after all. When I opened them, I saw Sam. He was looking down on me laying in his lap. He started laughing.
          “El, you’re talking to yourself.” Had I said all that out loud? No, I could have sworn I was thinking it. I was. No, I was dreaming. Oh, I don’t know. I forgot.
          “Sam I’m dreaming but I’m awake!” I said, reaching my arm up to make sure his face was really that close. It wasn’t again. My face started to tingle and so did my legs. I felt my heart going faster. I felt like 2 pounds. I rolled off his lap and into the grass. Everything moved so slowly. I kept on rolling, as fast as I could, but it still was so slow. I stopped rolling and lied there on my back looking at the stars. They were moving around in the sky, I think. I stared at them. The whole world was spinning, I had just realized. I called out for Sam and Lily to come here but they didn’t hear me. I turned my head and my eyes slowly rolled over to where they were sitting. They were making out. I started laughing.
          “I told you you liked him!” I yelled to Lily. I rolled over to by they were. I really liked this rolling so fast but slow business. I didn’t care that they were kissing, as long as I could roll. It was funny. I knocked on Lily’s head. “Hey did you hear me?” I asked. They broke away. Lily glared at me with her purple red eyes. I changed my focus to Sam. “Aren’t you going out with Amy?” I laughed. He told me they broke up ages ago. I lost interest. Lily’s eyes were just as red as Sam’s. I stared into them. They were a magnificent color. Who would have ever thought of purple eyes? Eyes were so weird shaped. My words floated across my eyes. I thought I was seeing everything I was thinking. I could see inside my brain and saw my thoughts. I focused back to Lily and she was still glaring at me.
          “I don’t.” She lied at me. She would have lied to me, but I wasn’t there all the way. I looked up at Sam. I realized how attractive he was. How come I never saw it like this before? He was amazing! Lily’s words went right past me and then I forgot she was really there. I saw her but I didn’t think she was actually there in real life. I looked back at Sam. He started looking at some grass. Then I did too. It was really amazing, grass was. There was so much of it. Then I remembered how hot Sam had gotten just then and I poked him and started laughing. He turned around and looked at me and started laughing too. I hugged him and fell on the ground and he rolled on me. It looked like his face was overlapping mine because it was so close. I reached out to see how close he was with my nose, since my hands were stuck under my body and I couldn’t figure out how to get them out. After leaning up a few inches I hit his nose with my nose and he laughed. I guess he wasn’t really that close. And then he kissed me exactly like he had before. And I heard Lily start existing again.
          And then I closed my eyes but could still see what was happening. And then I started to dream again except by now I realized that when I thought I was dreaming, I was completely conscious. And I saw footsteps come near us even though my eyes were closed. Lily pushed Sam off of me and started getting sloppy thirds. I started laughing at that thought. Sloppy thirds. Why did they call it that? Wasn’t it sloppy seconds? If she was getting sloppy thirds then who got the seconds or firsts? Oh yeah, and I started laughing again. I rolled around in the grass some more while sloppy thirds went on. And then I realized I wanted to kiss Sam again so I rolled to find where he was. I rolled but I couldn’t find him so I gave up and stopped rolling.
          I decided that I wanted to try to stand up so I did. I didn’t weigh anything. I started floating across the grass looking for Sam. I kicked through the air with my weightless leg. I jumped 10 feet high and then I tripped and fell into the grass. I think Sam saw me because I saw him and Lily come over to where I was with my mind. I think they thought I had gotten hurt but I felt amazing. I opened my eyes and they were laughing at me. I started laughing too. Other people laughing is really funny. Lily shook her hair out of her face. I told her to do it again because it looked so absolutely incredible. She did and then I did and so did Sam. And we all were shaking our heads. I thought I could see my brain move around in my head and I stopped because it looked like it would hurt.
          We played some more in the field for however many more hours it was and got back into the car. Sam claimed to be the least high among the 3 of us so he drove us home. I watched things slowly pass us by at 70 miles an hour. My eyes were really tired, they told me, so I closed them and saw everything I heard. Then I really was dreaming.
          Sam woke me up after he had dropped Lily off, helped me into bed, and drove home.

5.

          The first day of junior year. I’d rather stay in bed. Sam picked me up and we carpooled to school, just like we had every day since he got his license. Sam always drove, never I. He said he didn’t trust my driving skills. I didn’t either. I walked down the hallway to my new locker, saying hi to the people I talked to last year. No one noticed me, really. I knew the people in my classes and whoever else talked to me randomly and that was it. The bell rung and I slumped into a back chair in my first hour. I didn’t have any classes with Sam this year, which was odd. Usually we’d have at least one. At least we still had the same lunch.
          All the days blended together just like school makes them do and before I knew it a month had passed. I woke up to my phone ringing as I so often did.
         “Hey. I can’t take you to school today, sorry.” Sam said. I had hardly said okay and he hung up. I did my usual routine and finished by tapping the toothbrush on the sink twice. I got into my car that I rarely drove and started on my lonely way to school. I parked and started walking to the school. I parked at the very back of the parking lot so I wouldn’t have to wait in line to get out. I passed by hundreds of cars and then I saw Sam’s. The window was cracked so I figured he was still in the car. His windows were tinted so I couldn’t tell. I got up to his window and banged on it, to startle him. Oh, I startled him alright. Startled him so much that he spilled the bowl all over his pants. He jerked to see who was at the window, eyes wide with fear of getting caught. He realized it was just me and sighed relief. He started to salvage the weed that had dropped on his lap. I got mad. I walked around to the other side and knocked on the window, signaling for him to unlock the doors. I got in.
         “You scared me!” He sort of smiled, trying to minimize the amount of guilt I’d lay on him. I frowned at him.
          “’s that why you couldn’t take me to school this morning?” I asked ominously, motioning toward his pipe with my head.
          “Yeah I knew you wouldn’t want to be around it.” he said simply. But this wasn’t simple.
          “Why did you assume that? We did it right before school started.” He shrugged.
          “I don’t know. I only had enough for one person anyway.” I shot him a mean look.
          “But before school? That’s stupid.” I said flatly, mocking how he had told me my parties were stupid earlier in the summer. It was early. I was more in an ‘I’m pissed off at you.’ mood instead of my usual ‘I’m disappointed in you’ kind. He had nothing to say to that. He breathed in and let it all out in a single puff of air. I stared off at a car in my view for a moment.
         “Bye.” I said abruptly as I pulled the door handle and stormed out of the car. I was starting to think Sam was getting a little too into this. He had told me he would quit more than once, but so far nothing. Occasionally is alright, I guess, but now he was starting to worry me. When he ignores me for drugs, it’s out of hand. And rude. I hate driving.
          I sat in all my classes steaming mad at Sam. At lunch, instead of sitting with me he went to go sit with a group of people I’d rarely seen around. Lame. I went and sat with Annie. I had never really seen her around before this year but I had a class with her this year. She had light brown hair and brown-green eyes and wasn’t that pretty. I think it was mostly her hair that made her so unattractive. It was choppy, thick, straight as a board, and the color wasn’t even pretty. She had very light freckles on her nose but she covered them up with make up. She could be pretty if she tried, but she honestly didn’t know what she was doing. She tried too hard. She was nice though.
          I sat down in a huff across from Annie. She looked up from her sandwich and furrowed her eyebrows.
         “What’s wrong?” she asked nicely.
         “Sam.” I said as I took a huge bite of my baked potato. She had known me long enough to know how close Sam and I were.
          “What happened? Are you guys in a fight?” Annie also loved to gossip. I decided not to tell her much so it wouldn’t stretch into me being pregnant and Sam being a transsexual or something.
         “It’s nothing, he just said something.” I lied. Annie’s eyes got all big. They did that every time she was about to hear something really gossipy.
          “What did he say?” she asked excited and curious.
          “Never mind.” I said. “Did you do your history?” I asked, changing subject. She caught on but didn’t bother press me for an answer. She said she hadn’t. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sam start to get up and leave with those strange new people. I felt the urge to talk to him. I started to stand up, ready to leave.
          “I’ve,” I paused a moment to eyeball all of Sam’s bizarre new friends. “gotta go…” my voice trailed off. I started to pick up my tray and leave the table.
          “Where’re you going?” Annie started getting up with me.
          “Nowhere, just, I have to talk to Sam real fast. Stay here.” I said a little too rudely. She sat back down and started gossiping with her friends as I fast walked over to where Sam was. When I got a little closer I slowed down. I didn’t want it to look like I wanted him to see him that badly, especially in front of those new mysterious people. A lot of them were guys. I caught up a bit and called out Sam’s name. He turned around and kind of frowned at me. He stopped and waited until I caught up with him. Some of the people from the mysterious new friend group stopped and waited for Sam while a few others kept walking.
         “Hey.” I said as if I had just met Sam. I didn’t know what else to say. It was a default greeting. He kept frowning at me but had a tricky smile on at the same time.
         “Hey…” he said suspiciously. I had nothing else to say so I started improvising.
          “Who are your friends? You’ve never mentioned them before.” I said cheerfully, although I was being glared at by Sam and his lackeys. They made me feel very small. Sam looked back at one of his new friends and jeered at me. He turned back to me. He still had that suspicious smile plastered on his face.
          “Uh, this is Paul.” He pointed to a big tall greasy guy. He had a touch of facial hair on his chin. His black hair was either wet from gel or sweat, I couldn’t tell. His shirt simply said ‘Suck it.’ “This is Z.” he pointed to a skinny guy who looked a lot like Fritz. He seemed goofy and his clothes were out of date by about 30 years.
          “What’s...” I started.
          “You don’t ask what the Z stands for.” Sam interrupted. I accepted this. Then he pointed to a small girl next to Paul and introduced her as Gig, pronounced “Jeej” I guess it was short for Gigi or something. She had obviously dyed black hair that was cut short and covered her eyes. She had on crazy orange makeup and her fishnet tights were intimidating. They all had a stale smoky air attached to them. Not surprising. I politely waved hi to all of them and introduced myself.
         I stole a secret glance at the rest of their group that was walking off. My eye caught an interesting glance of a taller boy. A very attractive taller boy. He looked the nicest out of that group, not including Sam of course, and had brown curly hair. Not to mention a big smile and a nose to match. He was laughing with a girl that was pretty normal looking, compared to the rest. He turned for a second and caught my glance. I quickly looked back to Sam and the awkward silence.
         “Well,” I said, still keeping the fact that I was awkward, confused, and felt like a complete loser a secret. “I just wanted to know if you could give me a ride to school tomorrow.” I tried to act completely normal. It would’ve worked if Sam’s friends weren’t such a bunch of pricks. Sam looked back at Paul. Paul’s _expression didn’t change.
         “I can’t, sorry.” He said quickly. His eyes dropped and stared just below my eyes. You can’t fool me, Sam, I thought. I know you’re not looking in my eyes. And when you’re not looking me in the eyes, I know you’re either lying or something’s up. It pissed me off. I gave him a half glare, half smile and didn’t even say anything. I just turned around and stomped off, with my back straight and my head held high to let Sam know he can’t crush me that easily.
         I had nowhere else to go so I just went back to my locker and got my books together while I thought; about Sam, of course. Had we not been friends since 7th grade? Had we not had a tradition of carpooling to school and sitting with each other at lunch? Had he not promised me he would quit smoking?! I angrily opened my locker and shoveled books into my bag. How could he throw away our friendship for a bunch of stiff dead beats? I guess all Sam cared about now were his freak show friends that probably didn’t even like him. Who could like him? He was fake and ditched the people he cared about most. Assuming he even did care about me. No, I guess all those years he was just using me because he was a loser who didn’t have any other friends. Now that he got some “friends” he can just dump old El to the side of the road, leave her for someone else to clean up. I sighed harshly. And I wasted my time hanging out with this good for nothing sorry excuse of a person? I slammed my locker shut. Pathetic. I stormed off to class.
         I stopped on the way home from school to get a smoothie. I rarely treated myself to smoothies but thought I definitely deserved one after what Sam the two faced ass hole did to me. While I was waiting for my order, Sam called. I flipped open my phone viciously.
          “What.” I said curtly.
          “El?” he asked as if he were unsure if it were me or not. Who else would it be? That queer.
          “Who else would it be, queer? I snapped.
          “Oh hey.” His voice all happy, disregarding my rudeness, as if he hadn’t completely blown me off and made me feel like an idiot today in front his friends and Curly McHot. I didn’t answer. “About today,” he started. Good, he’s going to apologize, I thought. Just like he should.
          “Mmhmm?” I expected an “I’m sorry, El, I was a jerk. Forgive me?” Maybe he’d add an “Oh El, how could I have done such a thing to you? I vow to never leave your side again!
         “I met those guys last week, they’re pretty cool.” He said instead. “They want me to hang out and stuff with them now. So I can’t like hang out as much.” He seemed as if he was almost asking permission from me. I said nothing. “You’re cool with that, right? I mean we’re allowed to have different friends.” He half-joked and laughed nervously. My blood was hot and I’m sure my face must have looked like I was about to explode. I steadied my voice or else it would have made a scene in the smoothie place.
          “Yeah, sure. Fine.” I answered half heartedly. Usually Sam would’ve picked up the fake tone in my voice, but I had give him the answer he wanted to hear and he wouldn’t push it further.
          “Thanks El. I have to go meet them in a little bit. I’ll talk to you later.” He said as if nothing had happened. I said nothing and just as I hung up, heard Sam say “wait” but I had already closed the phone. I picked up my smoothie and walked out to my car, jamming the keys in the ignition and almost crushing the steering wheel. I got home and needed to clear my mind so I of course took myself on a walk. I walked out the front door and the wind practically blew me over. I whipped out a sweater and started walking anyway.
          I walked until I came to the familiar four way. One way led to Sam’s, the other to Matt’s. The third, our ice cream shop. The fourth route…well, was thoroughly unexplored. Up until now I’ve never had a reason to travel down that way. Today was that day.
          It was just a little chilly outside, even though it wasn’t quite fall yet. I crossed my arms and walked strong against the wind. Leaves scatted along the sidewalk. I stepped on them making a satisfying crunch noise under my feet. This new route didn’t look any different from the rest, a road, houses …nothing out of the ordinary. And then I came across a big mass of trees. They looked very peculiar standing there in a big neighborhood like this. I did the obvious thing and went to explore.
          There happened to be a little path way that led into this clump of trees so I took it. I had to look at my feet while walking or else I would have tripped on old tree branches and rocks and cracks in the old ground. This semi took my mind off of this new Jerk Sam. The place had a bit of a forest feel to it. Peaceful and quiet and beautiful.
          And then I saw a river. It wasn’t much but it was definitely a river. I went to sit by the bank and take in my surroundings. I started thinking about my life in a few years.
          I’m 26ish and I’m married. Of course my husband is amazing and hot and everything. I have the perfect job, doing what I don’t know. All I know is that it’s perfect. And we’re not rich and not poor, just right. He comes in from work and kisses me on the cheek and smiles at me. I’m probably painting or something. Yeah, that’ll be my job. An artist, just like my dad. And then the phone rings, my husband answers it. “Hello” he says cheerfully. You can hear babbling from the other line. And then a frown comes on his face. “Yeah, here she is.” He hands the phone to me. I say hello and it’s Sam. And he tells me he needs bail money because he’s in jail for drug possession. I start crying because we stopped talking junior year after he left me for a bunch of his dumb friends. My husband comes over to me and comforts me. I hang up and tell my husband I’m off to bail my old best friend out of jail. And he gets a worried look on his face and insists that he comes too. I tell him that it’s something I need to do alone. So I get to the jail place and see Sam there, unshaven and pathetic. And he starts to say some things to me but I can’t listen anymore because now I hear some kids in this forest area that I’m in.
          I quickly stood up and brushed my skirt off. I hate when people discover my secret areas. The voices seemed to be laughing. I thought, Maybe I can meet some new friends to replace Sam with. I started walking toward the noise and saw a group of people a little ways away. I walked a little closer, still hidden by the vast amount of trees when I saw a big and tall greasy guy.
          “Paul.” I said, almost out loud. I snuck up a little closer to catch a glimpse of all their faces, hiding so they wouldn’t see me and recognize me as the stupid girl who thought she was best friends with Sam but horribly mistook the present for the past. Gig, mysterious nice curly haired boy, Z…they all were there. Plus the few others that walked off when Sam stopped for me. And it was a very pathetic sight. I looked for Sam but couldn’t find him right away. I saw one of them pop a pill in their mouth as if it were candy and joined in the festivities. I kept looking for Sam in the privacy of behind my tree and finally spotted him. I stuck my head out from behind the tree to get a better look and Sam saw me. We stood there for a second, caught in each others glance. His eyes looked sad until he pulled close that normal looking girl I saw talking to “Curly McHot”, who was sitting on a stump watching, and kissed her without ever looking back at me. She giggled. I shot them a look of repugnance although no one saw it but me, and silently stormed off thoroughly disgusted.