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Rated: 18+ · Essay · Comedy · #1197768
Sick today, and what have I to show for it?
Well, I'm sick again.  This thing has gotten worse as the week's gone on.  I missed work Monday.  To be honest, I wasn't actually sick on Monday.  I called in and said I was sick.  I guess I was sick, in a way.  I was sick of work. 

After I called in, I made sure to get a hold of my fiance before she came home.  If she came home and saw me, for any reason, when I was supposed to be at work, she'd be pissed.  There's no way to dig out of that hole.  So I called her.  I said that I showed up at work, and they sent me home because they didn't need me.  She totally understood.  Sometimes they did that.  I am a pizza delivery driver.  But it almost never happens in the winter.

Then, somewhat later, Angie came home, and we went out to eat.  Since where she wanted to eat was close to my job, I was nervous that I might get spotted by someone.  Luckily, we took her car.  As we walked around to the front of the restaurant after parking, I walked several steps behind her, and tried to hide my face as much as possible.  The restaurant was right next to the road, and we were just a stone's throw, a single block, away from where I was supposed to be that night.  I kept faking a sneeze and putting my face into my sleeves.  She said, "Bless you."

We ate.  I didn't really want Mexican, but now I was trapped.  After dinner, Angie wanted to stop off at the liquor store next door.  I offered to stay in the car, but she threw a fit.  Again, I tried to hide myself, and keep it low key.  We got what we needed and went back to the condo.  Nobody saw me.  Good.

Tuesday, I went to work, but I felt like shit.  I was sneezing constantly, and I had some chills pass through my bones.  I was slow and lazy and tired.  I wanted out of there.  The end of my shift came soon enough.  I even got my manager to NOT blow his stupid whistle.  The last time, I nearly had a heart attack.

Wednesday I was off.  I woke up around 7 am for some reason.  I felt decent.  I smoked a cigarette on the balcony and went back in.  I made some cereal, then I went back to sleep.  I woke up again at 11:15.  I watched some comedy central, and farted around.  Angie called.  She said that she was going to call this lady and get the address of a job I was supposed to do.  The lady never called.  I waited all day.  The job was off.  Finally, at 2:45, I was out of smokes.  I went down to the store, bought them, came home, and decided to write this boring-ass story.
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