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standards and struggles
"Raven"
By: Blake T. Miller

I start with a yawn. I yawn easily these days. In the spur that dawn once had, I look at it and say maybe, somehow you have lost your beauty through these old lens of mine, through the optical nerve that has seen so much visually in the information highway. Pretty much everything. I have seen plenty of violence in life and, I know what it sounds like. I remember watching some 80's action movie in the basement of the Resturant my family owned. There was huge riot that threw fat bottles of salt and chairs and tables and stools around and there were screaming that bounced off the walls like a mad zig zag. After the thunderous noise subside from this melee, I came up to the surface floor and, the banquet of resturant was a mess. I just record that memory as a child.

When you lose passion, you die. When I ever get so passionate? Could I call for passion to return, so that I can emotionally feel something alive and powerfully pure? I got a plan. I told the whole world that I was going to write this Science book that is bigger than E=Mc2, bigger than the Quantum Theory, that is bigger than any principle in Science and it would really put a vise on your brain. So, I am valuable and I am convinced of that.


But not a moment too soon, as they say, what does it mean to be living "the" life? What if we all could live "the" life? In order for me to live "the" life, you have to live "the" life, too. Because, scientifcally, I won't advance due to hypothetical questions. "Why do you deserve to live better than us?" It is just a real madness in America today and a quiet madness that doesn't even twitch a muscle until it does. I vouch that to face an intense trial of the body and the verdict of being jailed or, free just explodes from the heart. The truth is the human body does not work that way. You are all on your own and your mind is a lonely piece of work. The process is gradual and slower than the speed of thought. Sometimes, I wish just to just freeze and do exactly nothing when I try to diet, then time just flashes by and it is a month later in a second. I would thinner than Supermodels, but the truth is, the thoughts get overflown in the mind and boredom esclates, chaos just break loose and I collapse back to eating 21th century food. What if somebody tried to kill me and they failed. I survived and am still wounded from that. I don't blame people. I blame circumstances. I wish, being catatonic and in daze is a convience possible because they are great tools of focus and too much bullshit circulates. Absolutely useless informations just weakens us. When you stratch the itch too much, skin break, your membrane becomes exposed and bacterial infection would occur. Then, you learn how rotting really feels like. There is a Chemical and Bioharazard warfare out there. Abraham Lincoln is a God because he absolutely freezes and time just fly over his head. I am afraid, if months were seconds, the infection would probably spread and I would totally rot my unmentionables. Imagine moving your hand into your pants and then, there is a mulch like soft banana and, in shock, you see black mulch of rot on your hands. Your Gonads are gone. All your cells had rot and you gave up the inner battle.


It is a complete war to fight the skin infection without antibiotics, so, my heart goes to people who live in poverty because, I know what it means to rot and how the total judgement on how people can change in a flick and, the meat just flickers and is lifeless, praying? for a powerful storm of electricity. They are twitters and flicky. God, yeah, oh yeah. God is something so healthy or the opposite just as powerful as well. Sometimes, I just don't even breathe. I am a boogie man and, I just don't breathe, even when I run for miles on foot because, some selfish force is trying to talk to you. Why do they say Cats have 9 lives?





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