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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1808832-Merry-Christmas-I-Dare-You
Rated: 18+ · Chapter · Comedy · #1808832
A novel, hoping to be comedy, yet endearing - with happy ending.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, I DARE YOU!

It's the day after Thanksgiving; snow is plummeting down from the heavens, in flawless form and rhythm, just perfect to get everyone in the holiday spirit. Normally Julia would have been up before the roosters, and out enjoying the full swing of the over anxious holiday shoppers, however this year was entirely different.
It was now a little after 11:00 am, and she still lay in bed. Every time she would try to raise her head, everything spun out of control, forcing her lay her head back down. She laid their wondering what made her feel worse, the hang over that plagued her with a vengeance, or what she couldn't remember doing or saying last night while on her inebriated pity party.
What have I done, what did I say; she thought as she forced her very fuzzy brain to try and focus on things she was sure she really didn't want to remember and was certain she would regret.
It all started while planning for Thanksgiving dinner, when she came up with the brilliant idea to have dinner at her house this year, instead of her kid's Father. Julia and Steven had been divorced for more than twelve years, and had always remained friends, mainly for the kid's sake. But now their oldest daughter, married with three little girls of her own, another daughter off in college and living a very busy life , too busy for Mom at times it seemed, and a son off at another college – his first year away from home to be exact.
This brilliant idea of hers had turned out to be more than a complete disaster, but more like a self-destructive, give me the bottle of scotch and everyone stick around for my over controlling , overbearing, self serving plastered obnoxious mouth.

She had told the kid's in advance that this year she wanted to have Thanksgiving at her home, a small and modest home in comparison to the home of their Fathers. After a little reluctance, ok, a lot of reluctance she finally convinced them that she could talk their Father into attending also, after all, he married her hadn't he, even if he had been ten sheets to the wind when he proposed, she still had a little control over him, didn't she? Besides, he owed it to her; she had traveled hundreds of miles in the past years, always making sure she was home, at his home anyway, for the holidays. Every year; it had just been expected of her to be there, even if she did have to drive through a blizzard, over the mountain passes, risking her life just to get back to the little town of “Payton Place”, a place she had divorced her husband to get away from. Okay, well that had not been the only reason for her divorce, but a big part.

Traditionally the night before Thanksgiving she would stay up and put the turkey on around 1:00 am, continually basting him all night, cat napping in between. Come the morning of, she would be dressed in holiday cheer, the red apron tied around her neck covered in flour, and her beautiful smile for all, even if she was sleep walking through most of the final preparations, at that point. She loved cooking, and was actually incredibly brilliant at it; she probably was cooking while sleep walking she had thought many times.
Steve would always razz her and give her hard time about the amount of food she would cook each year without fail; he always used the expression: “You made enough food for Cox's army Ma!” Julia never quite understood if she was suppose to find humor in this, or take it as a compliment, either way, she remembers him stuffing himself to the gills, then making his way from the table to the couch, in record time, and then looking like a beached whale.

This Thanksgiving was different for sure, and not just the location of home for which she would stay up all night cooking her prize bird. It was Julia breaking tradition for the first time in her life. It was her standing up and saying to the world, “I have a home too; I'm significant enough for you to drive a mile from your Father's house to mine”. Julia had moved back to the, “Payton Place”, almost a year prior, leaving the beautiful and majestic mountains of the Rockies behind. And had regretted every minute of it, except for the joy of being able to see her granddaughters whenever she wished – there was no other reason why anyone in their right mind would live here, she would protest.
Who knows, maybe breaking the tradition was a self-serving idea, but maybe it would be a life changing idea in more ways than one.

Thanksgiving morning was here, and Julia had followed her traditional preparations for holiday meal, she was up early, red apron on, Christmas music playing, and almost too excited for the kids, granddaughters, even for Steven to arrive. It was if she was proclaiming her independence, almost boasting in her newly profound joy. Dinner would be served at three in the afternoon, as always, and everyone would arrive between 11:00 to noon to snack on half a dozen or more appetizers, that they could never put a dent in – leaving Steven to mouth the same words about Cox's army again. Julia would try extremely hard this year not to show her normal annoyance at his remarks, after all he did drive a mile across town, and break the family tradition. Then did he ever really pay enough attention to even notice that his lame remarks annoyed her or did he do it just for that exact reason, she thought. Either way, she didn't care today, it was her day to shine, and she was going to make this holiday one to remember. Unfortunately, that's exactly what she did.
Noon was here, and the only one that had arrived was Julia's boyfriend; boyfriend, a word Julia hated to use, it just sounded like something her daughters would say. Nonetheless, he was indeed her boyfriend and had been on and off now for quite some time. Joseph, a very kind, good-hearted, decent man, she always called him Joe, he never seemed to mind, infact he didn't mind about a lot of things so Julia thought. He seemed to let others run right over the top of him, take advantage of his heart of gold, never standing up for himself. He had recently gone through a very ugly divorce and he hated confrontation, he avoided drama at all cost. Julia on the other hand, was always the first to speak her mind, when she thought it was duly warranted, even if it wasn't.

Julia had the dining room table covered in her most prized tablecloth that her Grandmother had crotched for her, the appetizers were beaming from one end of the table to the other, and there was more than enough eggnog to get half the city of “Payton Place” plowed.
Joe had already made himself comfortable in the recliner, beer in hand, remote in the other, and cheering on the holiday football players, with an occasional reprimand instead of cheer.
“Hey Joe, do you have the time handy?” Julia yelled from the kitchen while basting the turkey again, and knowing that everyone was already late, and no call, had her just a little testy – poor Joe.
Julia waited for his response, and heard nothing, she retorted again, only this time you could hear the impatience in her tone, “Joe, honey do you have the time”?
Still nothing, good Lord, is he going deaf, she thought, I'll get his attention. Julia started out the back door, her plan was to unscrew the cable wire and he would lose his precious football game, maybe then he'd pay attention. Suddenly, she found herself laying flat on her ass on the porch that was covered with ice, the ice she had asked Joe to pour salt on a few days ago.
Julia didn't even try to get up for the first few seconds, she just laid on the ice tears starting to well up in her eyes thinking how inconsiderate the kids were being not even calling to say they were going to be late. Better yet they should be there helping her, and had they been on time she wouldn't be laying on her ass on top of a mound of piercing ice, that is now stabbing into her spine, for a second she thought, maybe if I just lay here long enough the pain will go numb from the ice. And here is where the pity party begins.
Flinging the door open with a bang, and knowingly scarring the dickens out of Joe and definitely breaking his attention from that all important football game, Joe jumps up and yells, “Babe are you alright?”
“Oh sure I am dear, after I nearly broke my neck on the ice that you forgot to salt!”
Joe ran to the back door to meet her, “Honey, I'm so sorry, really...” Julia still half bent over, looking like an 80 year old; face red with half embarrassment and the other anger, with one hand holding her ass, that was now reaming with pain, “Don't worry about it -just go back to your game”, she remarked sarcastically as possible
“What was you doing outside anyway, especially out that back door, were you taking out the trash, all you had to do was holler, I would have taken it out for ya.” Julia was dumbfounded; she didn't know what to say at this point. She wanted to snap, yeah right all I had to do was holler and you would have helped alright. That is exactly what has got me into this predicament in the first place was trying to get your attention by hollering. How much louder do I need to get, or do I just need to invest in a damn mega phone while your games are on; maybe I can dress like a cheerleader, stand on the sidelines for you, and cheer your team on, all the while cooking thanksgiving dinner too, that is what she wanted to say. How could she, she had planned to ruin his game anyway, now how was she going to answer his question.
“I was just stepping out for some fresh air and to cool myself off, I guess I was getting warm from being in the kitchen all morning.” “I'm okay, really”, reaching out grabbing his arm, trying to reassure him she was okay, all the while wrenching in pain.
“Are you sure you didn't hurt yourself babe – why are you bent over like that?”
“Because my ass hurts Joe, and yes I am okay, now leave me with a little dignity and go back to your cheerleaders, I mean your football game”. Joe looked puzzled when she said cheerleaders, and then leaned over and kissed her, “okay Honey, holler if you need help”.
Julia thought, If I have to hear him profess that all I have to do is holler for his attention, one more time, I am going to scream, and let him have it. When the truth was, she wasn't upset with Joe at all, it was the kids not showing up yet nor calling, and with the ice-caped episode, it was now almost 1:00 in the afternoon.
Julia struggled with calling them and asking where they were, and what is taking them so long, but she couldn't bring herself to make the call. She just sat, starring at the phone, and occasionally glancing up at the front door to open. Her pride stood in her way, she couldn't call, and she knew if she did, she would only get upset and say things she really didn't mean or at least, didn't want to say – things she couldn't take back.


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