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Rated: E · Article · Comedy · #1942812
My experiences after living in NJ and moving to PA over 15 years ago
I May Live In PA, But I Was Born In NJ!

You know you're from N.J. and moved to PA if:

-You are not satisfied with the rolls or bagels from P.A. and cry when telling tales of real Jewish Rye Bread like you're speaking about a family member who passed
-You understand that a bagel is not a roll with a hole in the middle
-You have no idea what a "pastie" is and don't want to know
-You can't get a Ricotta Lemon Clam Shell or Custard-filled Napoleon in any PA bakery; But you have come to love Wet-Bottom Shoo-Fly Pie
-You say you're going "down to the shore" regardless of what direction
you'll be traveling from
-You will drive to NJ just so you don't have to pump your own gas
-You judge people by what exit they take off the Parkway
-You understand that it's an unwritten law that the speed limit is actually 80;
especially on the parkway
-You say, "sub", not "hoagie" or worse yet,"hero".
And a "grinder" is a stripper, not a sandwich.
-You can navigate a circle better than any NASCAR driver, but you hate NASCAR
-You know people from Jersey smoke at the park, they don't jog.
-You call a certain undershirt a "Guinea Tee", not a "Wife Beater"
-You know the NJ state sandwich is Taylor Ham/Egg/American Cheese;
on a Real Kaiser Roll with salt/pepper/ketchup
-You wash down meals with "Soda", and "Pop" is a well-loved old man
-You feel panic if you are ever further than 10 minutes from any mall
-You never buy pizza from "Pappa John's", Pizza Hut","Little Ceaser's ";
-You will look to see where the closest real Pizzeria is before buying a home
-You keep expecting to find a Quick Check sign on every WAWA
-You think ShopRite is a God-Ordained grocery store
-You still equate 7-11 Big Gulps and Boardwalk fries with Summer
-You keep your kids home from School on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur;
even if you weren't really Jewish
-You expect July 4th fireworks on July 4th, not the 5th,6th,or later because you
celebrate Independence Day on July 4th;like a true American.
-You have a fear of not having with you or in your vehicle several rolls of quarters
at all times "just in case"
-You know how to handle cops better than an FBI agent, and flashing red lights
are just part of life, not something to cry over. You also have one or more personal cop friends.
-You equate the Parkway with "The Most Scenic Routes of America";
-You know Mozzarella Sticks are to be dunked in KRAFT Cocktail Sauce, not ketchup
-All good dates end at the diner, which must serve cheese fries or gravy fries
-You think it is a sin not to go to the "Lady of", or "Saint of" festivals;even if you're Jewish or not Catholic
-You know what a Zeppolle is and know it is better than Tomato Pies
-You like farmer's markets but love urban roadside stands
-People ask where you got that scar and you reply "Garage Sale"
-Your PA friends all come to you to cut/style/perm/dye their hair
-You would rather be at the "Jersey Shore", not a "Beach" like ARUBA
-At a Diner; You know a "Regular Coffee" should come with MILK in it,
not next to it in tiny little cups; and tea should have the bag in the cup already
-You can pick on stuff about NJ, because it is family, and you earned the right, but nobody from out of state can
-When giving directions, you use the actual street names,and count traffic lights
-You left Jersey because you just got sick of the politics, not the real Jerseyans.
-You get upset when PA folks think everyone is like the morons on THE JERSEY SHORE
TV show and expect you to say,"YO", which you never have.
-You know it's your own fault if the seagulls eat your fries, shrimp, or funnels cakes.
-You've been to funeral reception dinners that top any wedding reception in PA; Because Jerseyans like to send their loved ones off in major style
-You've become a missionary of sorts, trying to convert and save people from the
"wrong" way of doing things; but in a friendly and sweet way.
-You cherish the gun laws that PA affords because that's the way it was in NJ for a long-long time as well.
-You can grow more tomatoes and flowers per square inch than any Amish farmer with more land in PA
-You look for things that are Jersey-ish about PA; and find that there is a little bit of Jersey in all of us; that being the best part.

by Kimarie Manhart-Freeman
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