37. Clarity

Kai steals another sideways glance at Pepper as they move up the bustling pier. Snatches of conversation in Thai, English and other languages mesh together as locals and tourists show their QR codes to be scanned before boarding the boat. Seeing the way the other passengers are dressed makes him feel he overdid it just a little bit.
“A river cruise?” Pepper gives him a crooked smile. “Can your student budget afford this?”
“Luca helped me.” Kai admits. “He said you’d never done this before.”
Pepper’s smile widens. “I don’t think Luca has either.”
“Then…tonight’s about firsts, I guess.” Kai fumbles slightly with his phone before finding the QR code with their tickets.
Once the attendant scans it, they step onto a deck lit with fairy lights. The wood of the chairs has been polished within an inch of its life, and each table elegantly set.
“Whoa,” Kai takes in the sight with wide eyes. “This is...”
“Like Nightshade’s VIP room?” Pepper cocks her head, eyes glittering with mischief. “Except this deck isn’t soundproof.”
“Um,” Remembering what exactly went on between them in said VIP room makes Kai’s face change color. “I was going to say it’s very nice.”
Don’t screw this up, Kai.
Don’t screw this up.
A waiter approaches as they sit down, offering the drink menu. Once they order—virgin Thaijito for Kai, Pina Colada for Pepper—Kai turns his gaze to the water, watching the reflection of the golden lights of Wat Arun play across its glassy surface. A cool breeze rises off the water, brushing against his skin. The only sounds are the hum of the engine, the splash of the water against the boat, and the low ambient music. He steals another sideways glance at Pepper.
Her face is turned away from him, toward the city skyline. She looks so serene, more than he’s ever seen her look. Seeing that expression on Pepper’s makes Kai want to do everything possible to make sure she always looks like that.
“Beautiful.” Pepper murmurs.
Kai nods in agreement. Seeing Bangkok like this, so peaceful and full of light, sends a surge of warmth through him, bringing with it a sense of calm. The constant noise of his thoughts seems to fade. There’s no tension, no fear, no secrets, just light and water and Pepper’s smile.
“Your knuckles aren’t bleeding anymore.” Pepper’s observation brings Kai out of his thoughts. “You’ve got calluses instead of bruises.”
“Talay says I’ll have those calluses for the rest of my life.” Kai holds up his hands in illustration. “I’m not ready for a match yet, but it doesn’t hurt when I strike anymore.”
“Is that what it’s called when you punch?” Pepper takes one of his hands, tracing his roughened knuckles with her finger tips. “So you think Muay Thai is a hobby you’ll stick to, then?”
“You call both kicks and punches ‘strikes’.” Truthfully, with Pepper stroking his knuckles like that, it’s hard for Kai to think straight. “I like it. Nice sometimes to hit something that doesn’t hit back.”
Pepper laughs. “I can understand that. Nice to have a distraction from your investigation, too.”
“Yeah.” Kai glances around to make sure no one else is listening. “It’s…still really complicated.”
“How so?” Pepper’s expression sobers, and she keeps her voice low. “You’ve got enough to prove fraud and with that surveillance report, Chalam has a perfect motive for murder.”
“Jet still doesn’t know I have that.” Kai reminds her. “And he doesn’t know what else I found, either.”
“Jet’s new birth certificate, you mean.”
Kai nods.
“Kai,” Pepper’s push is gentle. “Jet needs to know.”
“I said I would tell him.” Kai doesn’t exactly snap, but his voice is slightly harsher than he wanted it to be. He softens both his voice and his expression. “I will tell him. Just--not tonight. He knows about the fraud, and our parents, so maybe that’s enough for now.”
Pepper’s expression makes it clear she believes that even less than Kai does.
“I never thanked you.” Kai doesn’t say the words just to fill the silence. He really means them. “For helping with the accounts. I know you didn’t have to, but I’m really glad you offered. Actually, I’m surprised you found everything we needed to fast. I mean, I know you do the books for Nightshade, but not every company’s accounts are set up the same, right?”
A funny look crosses Pepper’s face. Her lips press together, then squish over to one side. Before Kai can ask her what it means, there is a an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, first in English, then in Thai, then Chinese:
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We hope you're enjoying your cruise so far. We are pleased to announce that dinner is now ready and being served buffet-style in the dining area. Please feel free to help yourselves at your convenience. Bon appétit!”
Pepper gets to her feet a little too quickly. “Oh good, I’m starving! You coming?”
She leaves the table, giving Kai no choice but to follow her. The line in the dining area moves quickly, and Kai and Pepper pile their plates with Pad Thai, papaya salad, spicy shrimp soup, green and Massaman curry, and spring rolls. Kai hesitates between choosing the mango sticky rice and the coconut custard for dessert, Pepper suggests they each take one and share it. Standing in line had apparently also given Pepper time to think, because she’s a little quieter than usual when they return to their table. Kai finally breaks the silence. “You squish your lips to the side when you're nervous. Did you know that?”
“Kai,” Pepper hesitates before accepting Kai’s unspoken invitation. “I have to tell you something, but I don’t want it to ruin tonight.”
Sensing her apprehension, Kai puts his utensils down, looking Pepper right in the eye. “You won’t ruin tonight. I’m listening.”
“The reason I know so much about OmniVentures accounts…” Pepper hesitates, then reveals her secret to her green curry, rather than look at Kai’s face. “Is because I interned there four years ago. ”
Kai blinks. “You…interned with OmniVentures.”
Pepper nods, but she still won’t look at him. Her words pour out of her, as though she just wants to get this whole confession over and done. “In the accounting department. Nail got it for me. I knew exactly what to look for because I’ve already seen most of those financial statements. Just not the ones from Chalam’s personal archive. I didn’t know much about the company when I started, and by the time I found out, I couldn’t leave. I needed my internship so I could graduate, and I was scared I wouldn’t be able to find anywhere else. Afterwards, they offered me a permanent position, and I gave them the one finger salute. Nail wasn’t very happy about that. But then Bel and Kam offered me the position at Nightshade so it all worked out. I guess.”
Kai is quiet for a minute, processing. He should be angry. Scratch that, he should be furious that someone else has been keeping secrets from him. If they had been having this conversation a month ago, he would have been. But now he’s not. He’s learned that everyone has secrets and their reasons for keeping them. Making assumptions about those reasons never did anyone any good.
He reaches for her hand. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“I thought you’d hate me.” Pepper still isn’t looking at him. “You have enough people keeping things from you. I didn’t want to be an addition to that list.”
“I could never hate you.” Kai reassures her. “You’ve always been upfront with me. So why should I be mad that you kept one secret from me?”
He can feel the tension in her fingers ease as he strokes his thumb gently up and down her knuckles. This situation hadn’t just been complicated for him and Jet. It had been complicated for Pepper, too. A band starts to play, adding to the peaceful atmosphere. Some of the guests move out onto the dance floor, swaying in time to the music.
Pepper looks up from her food. “Can I ask you something?”
“Ok,” Kai can’t quite keep the apprehension out of his voice.
The waiter returns with refills of their drinks and Pepper sips hers before asking her question. “Why did you choose to study Media Arts? Out of all the majors to choose from, why did you choose that one?”
“You know, you’re the first person to ask me that question in a while?” Kai takes a sip of his own, trying to figure out how to explain his choice. “I like telling stories. I used to tell them to Mali all the time when we were growing up, even wrote some down. I don’t get the theory or ethics parts of it, but the rest is pretty easy to figure out.”
“Was it the theory final you were worried about?” Pepper asks. “Or the ethics one?”
“Actually both.” Kai admits. “But I did fine. So after the break it’s internship, seminar, and capstone and I’m done. Then once I graduate, I can keep telling stories.”
Pepper looks impressed. “So how does your internship work with your plan?”
“It works,” Kai reassures her. “Because I can use OmniVentures is a perfect example of corrupt media ethics. That’s part of my capstone.”
“And you could do a little amateur investigation while you were at it.” Pepper makes it a statement, rather than a question. “What’s the other part?”
Kai’s shrug is a little sheepish. “Honestly…I haven’t figured that out yet.”
“You will.” Now it’s Pepper’s turn to be reassuring. “You’re really good at that--figuring things out.”
The band switches songs, and Kai tightens his fingers around Pepper’s. “Dance with me.”
Pepper raises her eyebrows. “Do you know how?”
“I can figure it out.” Kai gets to his feet, holding his hand out to her. “Dance with me, Pepper.”
She takes his hand, allowing him to lead her onto the small dance floor. Kai is not much of a dancer, but as the two of them sway to the music, he really doesn’t care. Pepper fits so perfectly in his arms, and whenever that orange and mint scent of hers floods his senses, he doesn’t really care about anything anymore.
“I like this.” Pepper whispers, her head resting against his shoulder.
“Yeah,” Kai murmurs. “Me too.”
“Kai.”
He glances down at her. “Yeah?”
“You don’t have to try so hard.”
“I know.” Kai’s heart rate increases as Pepper tilts her head up to look at him.
“So,” Pepper is so close the tips of their noses touch. “Don’t try so hard. Just be here. With me.”
It’s only seven little words, but it finally clicks. Kai knows exactly what she means--he hasn’t screwed anything up. He nods, and that brings his mouth even closer to hers. He hesitates for only a second, then closes the distance.
“Ok,” He murmurs against her lips. “I got it.”
Then neither of them say anything for a very long time.

◼️◼️◼️◼️

Kai had assumed they would drive to Pepper’s place and he would take the sky train to his dorm. But when Pepper turns off the car, he doesn’t want to leave. She looks at him, eyes dark with unspoken emotions, her lips slightly parted in hesitation.
“You want to come in?” Her voice is quiet, her expression hinting at more.
Kai doesn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
Luca is out for the night, so the two of them are alone. The atmosphere inside is warm and inviting. Light from lamps casts soft shadows on the wall. Everything is more intimate, more real. The door clicks shut behind them. Pepper turns to face Kai, the vulnerability in her eyes matching his own, and Kai knows they’ve been dancing around this for too long.
“I love you.” Kai murmurs, the words coming out of his mouth before he can second guess them. His hands cup her face, thumb tracing her lips as if committing the sensation to memory. Her breath hitches under his touch. His blood thrills at that sound.
She opens her lips as if to respond, but pulls him closer instead. The kiss that follows is tender, a quiet affirmation. “And I love you.”
Warmth curls inside Kai at her words. Places he didn’t know where empty are now full. “I’ve waited ages to tell you that.”
Pepper’s eyes glow. “I’ve waited ages to hear it.”
Her hands slide down to his chest. Her fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt. He closes the space between them. This kiss is soft at first, a gentle exploration, deepening when he teases her lips open. Kai’s fingers tunnel through those gorgeous dark waves of hair, tracing the curves of her shoulders, down the curve of her spine to the dip of her waist. His lips trace a line down the side of her face, his breath warm against her skin.
“More.” Pepper’s voice is barely audible, but the meaning is clear.
Her fingers dig into his shoulders, giving him permission to continue. Her head tilts when his lips press against her jaw, nipping and kissing toward the sensitive spot just below her ear. She mews when he moves down the curve of her neck.
“I love you.” His words are even softer this time. “I love you, Pepper.”
She sighs his name. He allows her to melt into him, knowing she can feel how much he wants this, how much he wants her. He’s caught up in the feel of her, the taste of her. He can’t stop touching her, relishing in the way her skin flushes, the soft, desperate sounds when responding to the movement of his fingers and the pressure of his lips. She is exploring too, deliberately, confidently, coaxing him further toward the edge of control.
“You are so beautiful.” Kai murmurs. His hands and lips continue to move instinctively, mapping out every curve, every contour.
Pepper’s fingers trail along the line of his jaw, across his collarbone, back down to his chest, sending another set of electric shocks through his bloodstream. “Stay.”
Kai nods, pressing his forehead against hers, every inhale and exhale mingling in the space between them. “I’m not going anywhere.”
She knots her fingers behind his neck, guiding him back to the bedroom. Kai kicks the door closed, murmuring her name, shedding the last of his inhibitions. Neither of them bother turning on the lights. They don’t need them. Every kiss is deliberate. Every nip gentle. Every touch a new discovery. They play. They explore. They gradually lose control. There’s no rush, no need for words. They have all night.
Afterward, Pepper nestles against him with a contented sigh, her head on his chest, her heartbeat in sync with his. “I love you.”
Kai presses a soft kiss to her forehead. One of his hands strokes her hair, the fingertips of the other tracing senseless patterns on her skin. “I love you, too.”
Her breath evens out, then his. The world seems to disappear entirely, leaving only the two of them in their own private cocoon.