Comedy: September 14, 2022 Issue [#11555]
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 This week: Death
  Edited by: Robert Waltz Author IconMail Icon
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  Open in new Window.

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience.
         —Mark Twain

I am prepared to meet my maker. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
         —Winston Churchill

The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive.
         —Joshua Burns


Word from our sponsor



Letter from the editor

Death isn't funny.

For some reason—I can't quite put my finger on it—the concept of death popped into my head whilst creating this newsletter over this past weekend.

It's fairly well-known that noted American humorist Benjamin Franklin once wrote, "...in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes." A humorist, by the way, is a comedian who's dead but is still funny.* So Mark Twain and George Carlin are humorists, while Dave Barry is a comedian. For now.

But as another comedian once said, "We laugh because we know we're going to die." (Me. That was me.)

I once tried to rescue an injured cat. As I picked the poor thing up, broken on the side of the road, I noticed it was purring. Purring is what we normally associate with a healthy, contented feline, but here was a very hurt kitty, purring like a chainsaw. Well, it turns out that they also purr when they're distressed; I don't really know why—there's a lot about a cat's purr that we just don't understand—but it appears to be a comforting thing, a way of trying to make things right in a world where so much isn't.

And that's the same reason we laugh. A laugh is a human's purr. We laugh when we're relaxing among friends, and we also laugh to make the pain go away. Sometimes, we do both at the same time.

Most jokes just edge around the concept, if they address it at all, but some—generally called dark, graveyard, or gallows humor—get at the condition directly. Here's an example:

John is dying. However, he can smell his favorite chocolate nut
brownies cooking downstairs. John summons all the strength that he has
left, he flops out of bed and crawls downstairs. He sees the brownies
cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As John reaches for one,
his wife's wrinkled old hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells:

'No John, you can't have those! They're for the funeral!'**


Then there are the jokes etched upon gravestones. These can be done at the request of the deceased's family, or sometimes, if you're the kind of person who absolutely has to get the last laugh, you can specify your epitaph in your will. For example, "I told you I was sick!"

Or this one, allegedly etched upon a stone in Pennsylvania:

In loving memory of Ellen Shannon, aged 25,
Who was accidentally burned March 21, 1870,
By the explosion of a lamp filled with R.E. Danforth's
Non-explosive burning fluid.**


For the record, I've spent my life playing video games, so I want mine to read, "Game Over."

If you're still not convinced of the connection between humor and death, how many times have you seen the Grim Reaper in a comics panel?

Humor, in general, is often about finding common ground with other people—and can there be more common ground than a cemetery?

But, like I said above, death isn't funny.

Except when it is.


*That's not really the difference, but Waltz's First Rule of Comedy applies: "Never let the facts get in the way of a good joke. Or a bad one. Especially a bad one."

**The above quotes are sourced from this site.  Open in new Window.


Editor's Picks

Some comedy for the living:

 
Eyes of Texas Open in new Window. [E]
The eyes have it.
by Teargen Author Icon


 “Fiona Needs More.” Open in new Window. [E]
She’s running out of time.
by Paul Author Icon


 I Hate This Job Open in new Window. [13+]
Parody of "I Love This Bar" by Toby Keith
by Just a Penguin Author Icon


 Dear Kermit Open in new Window. [E]
Celebrities are always at risk.
by Nighala a.k.a. Doxie Do-Right Author Icon


 Dictionary Blues (2nd Place) Open in new Window. [E]
Keeping words happy is a full time job.
by BScholl Author Icon


 Time's Up Open in new Window. [E]
Daily Flash Fiction 11/10/20 W/C 171
by QueenNormaJean It'sa WrapY'all Author Icon


 Sounds in the Night Open in new Window. [ASR]
The character in the story wonders what the noise in the night is...
by fishtail1776 Author Icon


*Plug* Thinking of writing that epic Comedy novel for NaNoWriMo? You can do it! This will help:

FORUM
October Novel Prep Challenge Open in new Window. (13+)
A month-long novel-planning challenge with prizes galore.
#1474311 by Brandiwyn🎶 Author IconMail Icon

 
Submit an item for consideration in this newsletter!
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Word from Writing.Com

Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
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Don't forget to support our sponsor!

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Ask & Answer

Last time, in "LemonsOpen in new Window., I talked about not being able to make lemonade.


Fivesixer Author Icon: One on my favorite indie rap groups put out a record about 15 years ago called When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold. A buddy stole a fake lemon from a lemonade stand at a church lawn fete and actually painted it gold for me; I may have a pic in my port still. However, a gold plastic lemon is not as effective as freezing the lemons life has given you to throw at your enemies.

         Well, revenge is a dish best served cold (old Klingon proverb)


Takono Carpaccio Author Icon: Hahah, this is so relatable!

         Eeesh, I hope not.


So that's it for me for September—see you next month! Until then,

LAUGH ON!!!


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