 Comedy: August 19, 2009 Issue [#3212] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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Hello, folks! It’s Webwitch here, hosting you through another edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
One morning, I discussed the philosophy of life with my very dear, doctor friend. I mentioned how children raised in one generation were expected to do certain things in life that are not commonly expected or accepted nowadays. This is how the story goes ... |
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When I was growing up my parents gave me two options of what life has to offer a woman in the job market. I had a choice of being a teacher or a nurse. At a young age, I was convinced that there were only two jobs a woman could do.  Of course, they started planting that message in my head when I was around four-years-old and heading off to kindergarten. 
I suppose if you start when kids are young, to implant an idea, it becomes a brain worm that closes out all other possibilities in the job market. I did what most children heading into their teens do, I rebelled! I realized the world is so much bigger than my parents led me to believe.
“But I don’t want to teach, I hate school!” I protested.
“Well then, my dear, there is a wonderful, giving profession out there that is perfect for you. It will also guarantee you a job and it is very respected by everyone. Oh, and you may meet a doctor someday!”
Yup, you guessed it, I should become a nurse!
The years passed by, and I decided after high school graduation that nursing did not attract my attention. My parents were horrified that I refused to do this thing that they had badgered me, erhh, I mean, lovingly coached me into doing.
You see, folks, I knew that there was some requirement of math knowledge in order to become a nurse.( I’m sure it’s a very reasonable prerequisite, since you are expected to work on living beings, who put their trust and faith in your expertise.) The medical professionals had things like grams and centimeters . (I always say sent-i-meters, while some in the health profession call it sont-i-meters.) I mean the math is difficult enough, don’t give me another name to have to call the bloody thing!
Thus, I realized that I would not be much help to patients. I would spend so much time double-checking my syringe to make sure the .01, cc’s was not .1. Sheesh! Already, my brain hurts!
Therefore, I decided to become a mother/Jackie-of-all-trades, early on in life. Later, I got a law degree because I would have had to know more math to become a doctor.  See, folks, avoid complex equations at all costs! 
Well, after I finished talking to the good doctor about my thoughts, he proceeded to throw in his two-cents on the subject.
“You know, Webwitch, I must have saved at least five-hundred lives with my keen knowledge and experience. I should also add that I’ve donated blood. I’ve probably saved thousands of people with the gallons of blood I’ve given over the years!” 
That announcement made me choke a little while gulping a big portion of the less than steamy cup of coffee. I thought about his selfless contributions to society, compared to what I had offered over my adulthood. With that bitter sip swallowed, I looked at his smug face with that assertive demeanor and said, “Doc, do you realize how many lives I have saved, by not becoming a nurse?!!!”
I bet it would outnumber his.
It’s a wrap for this month, folks!
Until next time, laugh hard--laugh often!
Ta,
WW
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Submitted Comments from my last Newsletter:
spidey 
Thanks for featuring my journal in your newsletter!
And thanks for the laughs! Great Newsletter!
It was my pleasure, Spidey! 
esprit 
Another good letter, WW, thanks! This one repeats the good advice of write what you know and love, which is always a good place to begin. Good topic!
Thank you, so much. I apppreciate the feedback! You can't go wrong, writing about what you love and know. The words will flow and the confidence will be there.
drjim
Humor is ... as humor does! We requested an encore performance - and like clockwork WebWitch -your funnybone prevails! Keep us smiling the entire live-long day and ... you'll never know when one of us will try our luck at making others smile. One thing's for sure - no one does it as well as you do!
Dr J
 Thanks Doc, I appreciate how much you inflate my ego! 
francie
WW,
I know you promised a new take on your fabulous newsletter and you came through. I always enjoy your stories and although I missed them, I am thrilled with this newsletter.
It's still you writing, I can hear your writing voice, but now it has a tinge of teacher in it and you delivered a comedy lesson in a painless procedure.
I exceeded the word limit by 100 words, so I have to delete and delete more.
It's funny you should mention the word teacher.. I am thrilled you wrote a comment that exceeded word count allowance. It makes me feel so loved that you had to start deleting! 
April Sunday
You're funny, WW. Once after a broken tibia incident which lasted 9 mo until recovery, I too spun the wheel chair close to the john. Where, we had a too narrow a door. Oh for the love of crutching.
Thanks, Teff! I appreciate the feedback and the little story about your experience. I also highlighted your contest. I hope you get some humorous Halloween entries.
Lornda 
I enjoyed your newsletter! It was more entertaining than a 'cheap filler episode' of Lost!
Thank you, Lornda! I'm happy that my cheap filler beats Lost's cheap filler. 
We editors love your feedback!
See you next time, folks!
W~W
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