 Comedy: August 09, 2017 Issue [#8416] |
  Comedy
This week: Ruby Gets the Shaft! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  
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Sitting here, on a steamy-hot Florida afternoon, about to be accosted with lightning storms, my mind travels North. Home, where my heart is missing, home, where my internet service is 24-7 without turning to my mobile hot spot -- home, where there’s an empty driveway ... which is no different than my driveway here in the South, but nevertheless, home, where I am not, at least at the writing of this newsletter. |
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I woke up and remembered to turn my phone on for all calls, rather than leaving it on the “Priority” list which consists of family, who may reach me anytime. To my surprise, there was a missed call from my mechanic! Could it be? Could it possibly be that Ruby is well enough to come home? 
“Hello, Bill! I’m sorry I missed your call, how’s Ruby?”
“Yes, dear, this is an update on Ruby’s progress. We’ve been working on her steadfastedly, and have made great progress. We are just waiting for her drive shaft to arrive from Sweden.”
“Oh, okay, well when will that be expected to arrive?”
“I honestly don’t know, dear. I ordered it two weeks ago, and it’s out in the sea, somewhere. But it’s progress.  ”
“Two weekes? Two weeks? What are they shipping it on, “The African Queen?” Hells bells, even Humphrey Bogart could manipulate that old tub down the Congo and hit the target ship in about two hours -- television time, that is.”
“Well you know freighters, they want to have a full load before heading out to sea. It’s more economical it is. But it shouldn’t take too much longer.”
“Okay, thanks. I’ll call next week to check on the status.” 
“Hi, Bill, it’s Ruby’s mom. Has the drive shaft arrived, yet?” 
“Not exactly, dear. However, at least it’s in USA!”
“Okay, so when will it reach Florida?”
“Actually, it’s being held in custom’s, due to the metal pipe within and the size of the object. They need to put it through the x-rays, the bomb-sniffing dogs, a couple robots to open it up, and several members of -- well you know, the alphabet suits of characters to make sure it is free from explosive devices.”
“Uhhhhm, ohhhh, okay -- I’ll call back next week or you call me back, sooner, when the shaft gets released .”
“I will do that, dear.” 
After several days, I got a voice mail. “Hello, it’s Bill. The drive shaft will be here on Saturday. Please give me a call and give me a payment to use for some of the parts I ordered recently.”
So, I call him, give him a payment to go toward Ruby’s reconstructive surgery parts. I guess it’s like an insurance deductible. It’s security for the one who has the most to lose at this point, should I cancel all her surgeries and skiddadle! Security for him, so it hasn’t been a total loss for the past (nearly) three months of having Ruby up on the lift.
On a more frantic note, although at this very moment I am sitting in my Florida room, looking over the lake, watching the bolts of lightning that recently appeared, and sipping an adult beverage, and relatively calm, cool and collected -- August is when this newsletter will arrive in your mailbox. So, when you are reading this, I will be crazy lost somewhere in GoT-land. And, I don’t even know where I am!
May your August be filled with tons of reviews, humor and creative entertainment, and may you have pity on us players, for we know not what we do. 
Don’t forget to support your favorite "Game of Thrones" team by throwing some cheers in their direction. Of course, as part of the frozen dead warriors, we’re not royal, we’re not pretty, but we wouldn’t mind a cheer or too, also. 
It’s a shaft wrap for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter!
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
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Fivesixer 
"Well actually, I have been drafted back into "Game of Thrones" ..."
 Really? I had no idea! 
Of course you didn't, Norb! I kept it to myself.   !!!
Jacqueline 
hoping Ruby will be back in your arms soon. I love reading about your adventures in her.
from Jacqueline
 I hope so, too! Thank you, Jacqueline!
papadoc1
HELLO-oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo BILL, WHAT ..............MONTH.................IS........................ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?!?!
It's GoT Month -- Nothing else matters! 
Dad 
Hi Webbie. Thank you for the mention! Golly, it is great fantastic to be recognized. I really appreciate it.
Write on
Smiles
Dad
My pleasure, "Dad."
Tahereh K.V. Dehkordi
Try not to make Ruby jealous. Because she is unique, she'll come back to you when you need.
Thank you for your kind words -- but I need her now! Come home Ruby!
Thank you for your feedback, folks! We editors really appreciate it.
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