The Chill Kid with the Cool Hat

My dad is an enormous dick

Ok, so the reason why my dad is an enormous dick is because when me, Sills, and Devon went back to my house, Devon saw my brother's guitar, picked it up, and started playing. Now Devon is a guitarist in a band, so he knows what he's doing and knows how not to break a guitar. I go upstairs for a second and my dad asks me who's playing the guitar. I say Devon and he says "Did Chris say he could play his guitar??" I say no, so he scolds me and says "Why in your right mind would you let him touch Chris's guitar??" I tell him that Devon is a guitarist and knows what he's doing. He scolds me again saying I have no respect for Chris or him because it's late and he's about to go to bed. I say in defense "I told him to turn off the amp cause you were probably sleeping." Smart move on my part, so he tells me that no one is allowed in the house during the week and tells us to get out.

Now if this was the first time something like this happened, I would've shrugged it off as nothing. But as of late, my dad has become the biggest bitch in the world. I swear he has grown a vagina.

Now it's uncalled for to scold me about using Chris's stuff because he uses my computer all the time without asking. I know because things on the computer are switched around and I remember how I leave programs on and which videos on Kazaa I last watched.

Let's just take a little review on the rules my Dad has set down since my Mum left.

1. First off, nothing was different, played video games whenever with whoever.
2. After 11, people had to be out of the house. He needs his beauty sleep.
3. People out by 10 so my Dad can be completely rested for a day of bowling, golf, and tennis with a few hours of work or spending time with his new girlfriend.
4. None of my friends can be upstairs because "the rugs are getting dirty" This is complete bullshit because the rugs don't look any different from 6 months ago. This is the first time in 18 years where I have seen he has actually cared about dirt in the house.
5. No one can be in the house during the week. MY only comment what a fucking twat.

Me and my brother recently had an arguement with him about why he hasn't talked to mum or her lawyer. He has taken a new concept to approaching divorce, just ignore it. Let's review a few things he said about the whole situation.

1. "She hasn't tried talking to me and ignores me whenever I try to get in contact with her."
Correction dumbass, Mum has called you and you told her that her kids hate her and would never want to live with her. THe time you tried to get in touch with her she wasn't at her apartment, she was in the hospital getting surgery.
2. "She wants to sell the house so we're going to have to pack everything up."
Never once has she said she wanted to sell the house. She doesn't care if you live there, as long as you give her money to compensate. Also, my dad cannot comprehend what a monthly payment is and thinks my Mum wants a huge lump sum immediately.
3. "She ahs never worked a full time job in her life and needs money now."
What's 3-11 x5? Dumb shit. She just took a $6 an hour paycut in her job, I think she's doing pretty good.
4. "I'm not going to call her cause I'm happy with the arrangements. I don't want anything."
No shit, asshole! You have everything! Mum moved out taking just her personal belongings. You have everything!
5. "I'm just barely paying the bills to live here now, so we have to cut down on a few things."
My personal favorite. Here's a list of things my dad has bought since my Mum moved out.
a. 1999 Mercedes Coupe: around $60-70k
b. Gym set: $6k plus about 10 add-ons at maybe $100 a piece
c. Tickets to the Wimbleton or whatever they call it in Tennis: 2 tickets at $150 each.

Well gee, I guess my Dad is kinda low on cash. Ofcourse when he rolls into court with his nice new mercedes saying he has no money he's going to look like a fucking retard.

My Mum had a great idea. My Dad made her an offer which he thought was very good to pay her off. $65k. Can you say fucking shit? Mum told me that she can afford to give that deal to him. I like the sound of that. How about Dad moves out and Mum stays in the house. All of her stuff is already here anyways. We'll even throw in the pool table that you love so much.

To sum it up, dad.
You're an annoying father
A horrible husband
and your life is going to shit when the lawyers see what's going on.