Snow Melt

Untitled Beginning

10 Kamal 164 B.E. – August 10, 2007 at 7:12:02 AM PDF

Word Count = 627

The darkness surrounds me, no matter which way I turn there is deep night. No light comes from any direction. There are no distant stars. There is no hint of sunrise or sunset. There is only the darkness, only the deep ebony firmament above and only the pitch-blackness around me.

I do not know which way to move. If I go forward, will I fall into a bottomless pit? On the other hand, am I falling into one already and do not know it? Where am I? Am I in a cave, am I moving through a subterranean cave, am I in a castle dungeon, am I walking through a deep forest at midnight? I do not know the answers to these questions. I am not sure I will ever know the answers.

How did I get here? My memory is of waking up in the dark. I do not have any memory, beyond finding myself in this place. I am walking in the dark, I am standing in the dark or perhaps I am sitting in the dark. I am not sure which. Odd that I do not know these things or how I arrived in this place. It is even odder that I do not know who I am. Everyone knows his or her name at least that is what I think. Perhaps I am wrong there.

I have not memory of a past either. It is as if I have walked through this darkness forever. Perhaps I am dead and do not realize it. Perhaps this is hell. Perhaps … perhaps a lot of things, I just do not know.

I do know that I would like to see the sunlight and the starlight again. Again … I just thought or was it said again. I just realized that I do have one memory. That is of starlight flickering through the atmosphere. Where did I create that memory? I can remember the starlight, but not the circumstances surrounding the moment.

I am tired; I must rest. I must sit down on the ground or the floor of where ever I am and rest. I must lay down or put my back against a wall and rest. I must close my eyes and sleep for a little bit. Then when I awake I can decide what to do, I can decide which direction to go. Once I rest, my head will be clear and I will be able to continue this endless journey in the dark with either my hope renewed or in complete hopelessness. Maybe I should give up all together and just sit until I pass into the next world.

However, what if I am already dead and do not know? What if this is hell and I am condemned to go on and on eternally in the dark? There is another alternative! I could be in the birth canal of paradise. I could be on the verge of being born into … into what heaven or something else. Maybe I have not gone through the experience of material birth. Maybe I am in the birth canal of my mother waiting to be born. Maybe I am in the womb waiting to be born. I do not know. I only know that I must rest for a moment before I continue. Therefore, I will sit down and lean my back against this stonewall and go to sleep.

Interesting, the wall does not feel like stone to my naked body. It feels like a soft material. It gives when I put my back against it. I want to know where I am, but I am so tired that I cannot keep my eyes open. I will just close them for a second and …

Note: I don’t know yet what I’m going to do with this. I think the character is female, but I’m not sure. I’m not even sure where this piece is going.