Down the Rabbit Hole

Bringing Sexy Back

I received an email recently from Oysters and Chocolate calling for my "sexpertise". It was actually an open call for submissions and I was receiving it because I have been published on their website previously. It made me chuckle because my erotic muse has been so quiet, so undetectable I'm beginning to think it has become a casualty of parenthood. This revelation troubles me for several reasons. First and foremost, I think I am rather good at Erotica, at maintaining the delicate balance that separates erotic literature from, for lack of a better word, porn. Erotica is about so much more than the physical description of sexual acts. It is about the people, emotions, instincts and the deeper connections that drive our human behavior. Erotica can be sexy, beautiful, and moving or tragic, dark and desperate. My particular style tends run in the darker veins but so does the vast majority of what I write. It has been a genre which has allowed me to push my limits, polish my craft and explore those spaces in life that are universal, primitive and often intensely charged. In my opinion, Erotica has been a fertile genre for me in which sex, gender and physical gratification fall second to experiences, instinct and emotions. What it takes for me to write anything is inspiration but what inspires me to write Erotica is a little more complicated. It requires me to tap into what has always been a reservoir of interest in all things sensual. It is all very relative. Some people find O'Keefe's depictions of floral art to be highly sexual while some find the their inspiration in art of a more literal nature like black and white nudes or glossy foldout centerfolds. For me, sometimes its a sudden summer thunderstorm, a rolling and restless sea, the profile of a woman who reminds me of someone I once knew, a couple having a heated discussion in a both at the back of a bar, a rock song with a heavy, velvet beat. Sometimes its about a memory, a promise, a decision. Sometimes I am inspired by something so subtle, that what comes out when I began to write, surprises and shocks me. This is perhaps the bigger reason that I am disappointed with my lack of creativity lately. Erotica remains the one genre where I can still surprise myself. Most pieces I write begin as a story with a predestined end. When I write a piece of Erotica, often times it begins in once place but ends in other. I feel like my Erotica lives and breathes and I enjoy that, I enjoy being surprised by where it takes me. Lastly, this genre has made me a better writer. It has taught me how to "show" rather than simply "tell", which makes all the difference. It is not easy to affect people with words. It is a challenge to keep things credible; situations, dilemmas, dialogue...they way people connect. The new pace of my life, the journey to find balance of responsibilities, the quest for a solid sleep, the constant battle with my own image in the mirror...these things all affect my ability to write anything, especially Erotica. I hope my muse comes back soon, we can all enjoy life a bit more when we bring a bit of the sexy back.