SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days

Defending Myself.

Why do I bother defending myself?

That was the biggest question after my tirade at the end of the last game. I was getting harrassed by the same guy for the way I played. He bugged me enough Monday that I stayed away until Friday. But the big old straw on my back busted me, and my desire to take the high road, so I let him know what I thought of his criticisms.

I then began thinking about the way I play and the way people perceive the game at the gym.

It's sloppy ball at the best and I'm outted as the guy who's play made our team suffer. I rather point out that his selfishness and scapegoating took the rest of us out of the game, forced to watch him play 'Kobe ball' as I would described it. Essentially its four guys committed to playing fundamental ball while one guy does whatever he wants pointing out everyone else's bad play.

On Monday, I won a game with a three pointer and the next game had a perfect opportunity to seal the deal with another and missed and didn't hear the end of it from him and a Packer player who shall remain nameless. I didn't appreciate being blamed for that loss when I stepped up and took my only shot of the game and nearly won it again. It's like they didn't even acknowledge how I duped a pretty good defender in the previous game and landed a perfect swoosh to get us another run on the court together.

I wasn't going to come back because my body has been breaking down from playing a lot of ball and doing a lot of workouts wiht my personal trainer. Plus, I need to stay rested as we rip apart and remodel our kitchen. But, I was tempted and now regret putting myself in a situation where I look a fool for stepping up to someone who was still ripping me behind my back after the game was over.

All this business about me reaching too much? The one play that put it over the top was me trying to deny an entry pass and force my guy to the baseline. He didn't make a move but threw a pass to a cutter who made a shot and I was told that was my fault because my guy was out of position behind me, apparently planning to help me? Why? I wasn't beaten off the dribble, the guy had only one place to go, under the basket, where I planned to squeeze him and trap him further. I play solid defense and I'm smart, but no one gives me credit. If I reach, it's to bother the guy rather than take the ball away. Or, force him to make a move before he's ready.

It's basic pressure basketball and nearly everyone does it. It's sloppy ball at best out there, like I said, and it bears repeating because none of us is playing for some kind of championship. He defended himself by saying he's a competitive guy. I defended myself by saying I'm all about being positive and complimenting people when they do well. Where does this mentality come from that you have to point out people's flaws in front of god and man without being positive about it. It's okay once in awhile, but you have to let people do what they know is best.

I told him I appreciate he knows the game very well, but he doesn't know me or what I'm capable of. He's taking on two guys when people like me are wide open on the wing and can nail a three-pointer easily. He basically walked away from me after I went into rant after rant about these issues. If he had just kept his mouth shut instead of trying to blame me for our poor performance in the last game, I would have been alright.

It made me think about how I could have been less combative and confrontational. But the guy rides a lot of people out there and sucks the life and the fun right out of the gym. I cannot get behind someone who cannot be constructive with his criticism. It's okay to let everyone do their thing and fail on their own.

Most people on the court were pretty quiet while I ranted with Eric. He is a good guy and he has complemented me in the past for my play. But he should realize I do my best with what I have and I don't want to be someone's stooge out on the court. I have a right to be trusted with ball and should not be made to fend for myself out there and take the heat when something doesn't go the way he thinks it should.

And, it's just a game. To me, it's been more than that at times when I look at the clock on my life. I don't want someone dictating my play in what could be my final hours with this game. (Metaphorical)

This has been a second chance that God has given me and the window is closing with this body and failing eyesight. I'm doing all I can to compete on every level out there with guys who should be way better than me. But, I'm learning to bridge the gap with my mind and certain abilities with the ball.

With basketball, I have some purpose. I get to recall former glory and make some memories to savor for the days when i can't play any more. Soon, I'll be relegated again to tossing up shots in the driveway with my son who I hope learns to love and learn the game the way I did.

Hmm , sound like I love the game more than my son. Should I strike that? Let it stand. I have flaws.

Had a bunch of typos. Took me a long time to get around to editing this.