My Journal #2

DEC 29

What a change this Christmas. My father is failing fast and I mean on the slippery slope to bedridden. They came to town for a wedding and did not leave. They are now ensconced in my living room (their bedroom) but due to the fact I have only a powder room on the main floor and Dad is too weak to climb on or two steps we have had to find them an apt. Sat we drove 2 hours to their house and packed what they needed for the immediate move and back. They move in Jan 1. I see weeks maybe a few months ahead and we will no longer have him. Sad to see him in this condition and I wish God would take him quietly in his sleep. How can I be sad at his passing when I know he will be free to run, jump on streets of gold. Meet his parents and daughter who have gone on before. It is with a conflicted heart I wait for the boat that will come to take him across "Jordan" to his reward.  I will not be sad each Christmas that comes, only a contentment his is waiting for me(and my Mom) to get there.

I posted this in response to the spiritual newsletter.  Sat my sister, I and others drove the 2 hours to the folks home and moved them in town. Jan 1 we will move them to a home where they can be better able to  manouver in a wheel chair and walker. Dad will have a place to shower. He isn't walking much today as he was yesterday. His legs are too weak.
I write this because I need to say it out loud. he isn't doing well and I have no idea what each day holds for him or us.