Shouts From Down Under

STOP BREATHE THINK. Then write as if you stole it...

Have you ever just wanted to hide in your bed, stay there under the blankets in your dark cave of safety, restfulness and soft warmth? Do you let this feeling take over your life to the extent where you DO stay there?

When we struggle to cope with life, with our jobs, relationships, obligations, faults, and all the rest of it, sometimes we have to stop, breath and think. We have to spend time deciding on the way forward, and choosing what path to follow into the future, be it a few minutes, hours, days or years.

I'm talking, of course, about a visit to the local psychologist. Yes, I visit one. As do many people, and if you don't realise this, then you were like me. You didn't realise that many people had issues of the mind. Years ago we'd have been classed as "mental", "off his / her rocker", "gone troppo", "went psycho", and other terms probably considered not so useful these days.

And the stop, breath, think etc is psychologist terminology for mechanisms we can use to cope in times of extreme stress, anxiety, panic attacks, and basically when someone is beating the stuffing out of us, whether it be mentally or physically.

I've learned today that my memory lapses over the past few years, months, days are a classic sign of depression. I've learned that it would be a good idea to continue writing. My psychologist says that it's healthy to let out stuff in our writing.
Well some of this is not news to me, but other points are a lesson.
So, why not write it here, the bits and pieces that happen to me, so that others might be helped, or at least made to feel a little more at ease with their hidden worries, fears and problems.

Many people suffer this sort of stuff. Yes. A martial arts expert suffers from this. Panic attacks. Jumping out of their skin at loud noises. Difficulties facing people. Memory loss.
It's debilitating, humiliating and yes, depressing.

But as I wrote in a short story about this subject, it need not be what we choose.

Recognise it in yourself, but not to use as an excuse for unwillingness to change. That's something I struggle with, and the psychologist aims to help me focus on the positive path, the choices and activities that will lead to feeling that I can cope.

A lot of the problems stem from fear. Fear of whatever. Fear of the unknown. Fear of fear. Anxiousness of being anxious. And all of this about things that won't happen, or are extremely unlikely, but our minds base the future projections of our anxiety on some experience in our past, or on a supposed experience.
There may have been no such thing happen, but we misinterpreted a life event into something it's not.

If that all makes sense, then you know what I'm aiming at here. Some fear and anxiety are normal. If we didn't fear stuff that our minds and bodies interpret as danger, then we'd be complete idiots indeed.

But fear and anxiety need not cripple our lives to an extent where we cannot face people, life, or getting out of the coccoon of our warm beds.

The first step is to reduce your vision down to just today, the next few hours, even the next few minutes. Cope with that. Plan ahead, but don't think about it too much. Leave the fears until you get to live that hour. No need to live tomorrows fears today as well as tomorrow. And when tomorrow comes, you'll see those fears were groundless.

Now to convince myself of this .

And don't forget to keep writing!

EDITING!

One coping mechanism I use, when I feel anxious about something / someone, is to focus on something ahead of that time or confrontation etc. Think ahead. For example, think of the money you'll earn in the job. Think of something positive. This moment will pass and soon you'll be having a better time. Think of someone you love and that you are doing this, getting through this bad moment, for them. Think of that aggressive scary person as none other than your own grown up son or daughter. It's just that they are someone else's son or daughter, or Mum or Dad.

Then you'll better relate to how they are feeling. You'll see their side of the issues, their worries, their fears, their feelings of inadequacies.
If they really seem like a bad *ss person, then imagine them as your own siblings or children. Then the threat will disappear and it will be easier to understand them. Hopefully it will be also easier to forgive them before they've even made you feel scared or anxious.
After all, the fears are most probably imaginary anyway; just in your head. This is your mechanism for getting through. They may not even need to realise there was a problem.

It works wonders.

We see people differently to how they are. Often. In the following photo, you could look at it in two ways: a couple of debt collectors looking down on someone they are beating up, for money owed.



Or just me, and my elderly mum, squinting in the sun, in a selfie of us together - a rare, precious moment.

Sparky