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Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #1300042
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
The Idiotic Ideate??

Formerly: New Zenith To Hell…(all started with arc as writer here from the trials of Rising Stars to Preferred Author to WDC Quills Best Poetry Collection...

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it…he does not become a monster.” - Some guy, I guess. Look it up?
I’ve been to the abyss and back. Not so bad.

The loneliest happy person you'd ever meet, when not the saddest person who needs to be alone.

In an ever-changing world, we need to handle topics at the ready. If you roll over and give in to the narrative without lending a voice, might as well hand over your civil liberties. Voices could connect to true conscience and spirit for honest and open discourse. Why feel so redacted?

Unify on issues or don't but put drama aside. Open minds require complete objectivity. Or, agree to disagree and have a beer. Just writing what I feel without the narrative-altering mind f---ing with my head.

[MY Chorus]
In your house, I long to be
Room by room, patiently
I'll wait for you there, like a stone
I'll wait for you there, alone
- Chris Cornell, RIP

Some other stuff

My recent poetry:

The Absence of Wavelength  (18+)
11.3k views, 2xBest Poetry Period. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind.
#1149750 by Brian K Compton

Sometimes epiphanies about my insights on writing and life and what goes on...

Blah, blah, blah

Merit Badge in Rare
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I like your work!

Thank you WakeUpAndLive️~scary 2024 for honoring me with your kind words!

Read here some old blog entries...*PointRight* 2018 Highlights

More...*PointRight* 2018: The Quiet Ones

Brian K Compton
"Lost In The Shuttle A signature image for use by anyone nominated for a Quill in 2018 -- WINNER -- Merit Badge in Second Time Around Contest
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Congratulations on winning the Grand Overall Prize in  [Link To Item #2164876]  with your beautiful poem, [Link to Book Entry #933358]. This poem really moved me. Great writing!

Rachel *^*Heartv*^*

Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
July 21, 2024 at 5:09pm
July 21, 2024 at 5:09pm
It’s documented somewhere about my athletic pursuits. A poem about blocking a layup and resultant injury to hand in three-plus feet of elevation to hunt down the basketball Randy Snowden decried was goal-tended (against rules).

I’m goddamn Superman, alright? Chose to surround myself with kryptonite.

And, since I’m limiting myself to one newsfeed comment a day, a hilarious game of mime begins. So, purge thoughts in reaction to what I read before further musing on hand injuries…

What finger? *scrolls up*

*Think* *aware of the why* Reads to wife, wondering which notion for response illicits response and type where she hovers across the way in kitchen…

Over-use (nothing)
Old injury (nothing)
*like footballs tossed in thinktank, talks it out* not wanting to make it sexual, does the tree…no, you got anything…? Nah, attempts at humor when someone is ahead of the joke seems like piling on when you want to contribute in that vein. By tomorrow, like Biden, a story downstream.

The basketball story came to me after realizing the polar opposite, 19, just moved back home, cape at cleaners, argument with old man over who knows what, frustrated after moving in (maybe too much stuff) and haul out a heavy wood laminate end table, with poly from krypton sealing it. Wouldn’t be enough. Holding it by the top in my left hand I swung and swung again at it with my right fist. Spun that fragmenting structure until every surface exposed, after who knows how many haymakers, until smithereens on the grass.

I wasn’t done. Turned and threw my fist full into our full grown apple tree. Immediate regret. Hand stung. It was already red, yet no blood. No obvious injury or remaining pain in this adrenaline-fueled state. Abrasions and some stiffness with swelling over middle and ring fingers followed but really nothing. Yet, when you tomahawk a 29.5” diameter ball and slam your hand into a glass backboard with no gravity to support your body…a little bit worse swelling. Harder to handle and shoot a basketball the rest of that game.

My hand never got the ice or anti-inflammatory meds, let alone medical attention. Didn’t get 30 points that night…that much I know. I do remember two things: the guys who told my wife I was a ‘hot head’ in city league and how Snowden remarked once, ‘we knew we could get you riled up’. Surprised by that, not unlike the box and one defenses that I wasn’t aware of, I asked, ‘did it work?’ We had a laugh and a drink over that one.

Irony has the word iron in it. I must be steel?


Yeah, just caught some glimpses of this jack-assery. Needs edits...

"nailing it (unembellished)

July 21, 2024 at 4:09pm
July 21, 2024 at 4:09pm
I could dub myself ‘Slap Maxwell’ but that’s reserved solely for Dabney Coleman.

"’They can brush you back, but they can't knock you down,’ says Slap, quoting (baseball legend Ted) Williams's words to him.” (Some ML rules never fade)

I’m a fan of the rare and obscure…


*wonders if his VCR tapes of the show survived 20 years in the garage attic, if an available machine and functional cable with television to receive the muffled warnings of a future spent comfortably staring into abyss.*

The character/actor/me — not so distant, but parallel in universes.

One is my hero.

Chapter 1

Either no period or no fragment, but, make a choice. *blink*

July 21, 2024 at 2:03pm
July 21, 2024 at 2:03pm
Title is a bit of a misdirect. Forgive me if I know a thing or two about drawing attention. At least I'm not Tabloid?


Producing news for a Public Radio affiliate I received three state broadcasting awards one year. However, the university-based station took them to display, but had the honor of great acknowledgment. The graphics department was a haven down the hall from newsroom, were stories were swapped with kind, like-minded people to pass the days. They surprised me, producing beautifully crafted replicas, gold lettered, better than the originals. I miss those guys. Guess what's more important to me?

When I left town and embarked on journeys to finally wind up with a permanent home and family, the documents had been relegated to a nameless manila folder in one of several file cabinets in our basement. Brightly illuminated are remembrances of a life lived, those stories covered and those with whom paths were crossed in pursuits that embolden.

Work on one of those awarded pieces was aired on National Public Radio with help of their producers. "The Sinking of the "Mesquite" was developed for a weekend morning program. Now, a blur, just a memory shoulder-cradling a phone, running sound through a production control board, taking notes and the pace it took to meet their deadline. A degraded cassette recording might exist somewhere. Yet, nothing compares to people who steadied me as I navigated life alone, between two eye surgeries, to eventual collection of a worthless piece of paper, called diploma, with my name misspelled.

My last friend that kept in contact said I could have had it replaced. I prefer not, and keep memories alive of everything that perfectly sets life just the way it is. Every document, testaments that stack in the back of my mind, as good as anything, but not better than friends to shoulder you along that frosty path of life. I don't negate the good, even amid all the ice and snow in that 'small-market' university town, preferring to stare at a barren wall, fondly imagine a new creation. When I get bothered, I can react negatively and get cranky. Is that an artist? I recall passion and joy and how it has served me since a child filled with notions of idealism, even after it disappointed and failed me.

Even faux copies of judged accomplishments cannot take the place of a thin-worn tape reeling and illuminating projections in my mind. And lacking evidence of true sight without proper correction, I know what to value. I think my kids and some family are going to be surprised when they do sift through the rubble of my life and those file cabinets. I told my wife, do what you want. But, hire a good editor. I'll never put it together.

Offered on first draft plus one edit with possibly no future edit or better title, one of my weaknesses.
I've offered more of myself to a strange cyber world than those who accept and kindle an ever-glowing warmth. Metaphor change: Open up the tap, this is what pours out to be draught. My choice to ferment where I've sat in a hollow barrel, however many hours a day, ignorantly diminishing remaining vision.


when I wrote: even after it disappointed and failed me, I blurted 'there ya go'.

This could be an eventual recording for YouTube, possibly linked on how and where I settle on topics should that time ever come. Let's fire up the archives and get ready for the past.

I might have Wingered this. Let me lay down while I laugh at my own joke.

I have pride inside the humble, should you skewer to see what emanates.

Wow, still flowing. More? Nah.

Thanks for the bulletin board material, BTW.
June 27, 2024 at 10:14pm
June 27, 2024 at 10:14pm
I refuse the host/puppeteer…

…for freedom of individual thought.

There is another way.
June 18, 2024 at 2:32am
June 18, 2024 at 2:32am
I google to see if people scheme, having known copyright law myself for over 30 years. But, with internet, social media, no change to protection of your written work….but….
“You can use up to 10%, but no more than 1000 words, of essays, articles, or stories, of a single copyrighted work.
You can use up to 250 words of an entire poem, or a portion of a poem.”



No need to go into detail. Pretty plain. Open game has always been.
One day, an entire website devoted to the best written works to peruse for nominal fees? Can it work?

horror vacui was a thing, pulled off Wikipedia, quietly returned, but science just ghosted it. Irony is familiar in this small space between internet atoms.
May 28, 2024 at 8:19am
May 28, 2024 at 8:19am
The coffee's flowing, my zucchini bread is on top of it's game, and...

Merit Badge in Newsfeed 7
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Awarded for  interacting with our community on the Newsfeed every day for a week . This badge can be earned over and over again.  Each of these badges adds one (1) Community Recognition! Merit Badge in Forum Posts 7
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Awarded for  interacting with our community within message forums every day for a week . This badge can be earned over and over again.  Each of these badges adds one (1) Community Recognition! Merit Badge in Visit WdC 7
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Awarded for  visiting the site every day for a week . This badge can be earned over and over again.  Each of these badges adds one (1) Community Recognition! Merit Badge in Reviewing 7
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Awarded for  sending at least one review every day for a week . This badge can be earned over and over again.  Each of these badges adds one (1) Community Recognition!

I stumbled into it when I got the first for being on seven days in a row. Imagine my surprise you can keep earning them. So....

Also, I'm supporting those who've supported me (knowingly) and attempting to fund those groups that have benefitted me like Rachel with Shadows & Light, with this:

Merit Badge in Poetry
[Click For More Info]

For your generous support of the Bard's Hall Contest, MAY 2024

for my minimum donation. Also, have sent gps in past to Annette. (wish there was a quick way to get item numbers and handles to properly link, blind you know?)

Since dropping my head on many a hard surface more than once too often, I'm just going to chill for awhile, stay out of the workforce, and kick butt in the gym. Maybe, more YouTube videos in the future? *Think*

Although, the gym hardwoods was where my noggin got the worst of it on December 4, 2017. (no more rim contests on lob passes...or rolling on the floor for 50-50 balls that I like to call 'mine'.)

Add some cranberries to your zucchini bread recipe! Brings all the flavors together and just that extra bit of moist. Yum for now.

I’ve stopped dropping the $50 mic. Can someone do something about the reverb of silence? The horror vacui said I should ask, but science says just a ghost.
May 15, 2024 at 3:50pm
May 15, 2024 at 3:50pm
A purple-heart decorated veteran elected sheriff of a small Arizona region gets in over his head when a team of weapons experts arrive with a score to settle.

The sheriff gently bent down on one knee to swipe his hand through dirt, careful not to dust his new uniform. He considered dress uniform a soldier’s resume, and it was about to be stained with blood.

In the abandoned area west of an old mining region, Kerry Seaver had arrived after a curious report from a town local. The grey-bearded man had driven his scrap hauler through the passage to hunt for metal, when he came upon patches of fresh red blood. It had been nearly 18 hours. Seaver found the location easily, tracking the old man’s gps at about the reported time.

The wet, sandy soil felt gritty when rubbed between his two fingers. It did not maintain its shape in the normally arid area of Arizona. When it formed into a ball he knew blood lay beneath, based on his experience. Seaver could see individual sand particles with the naked eye — something beneficial that came from his unique military training. Compared to other soil textures, this sand had low surface area and low charge, and was not the type to attract and retain water or nutrients.

First Resource (my old b. ball buddies…)

P.S., take the bait. (I typed it here before I titled it there. I titled it in my underwear.)
Good title?

January 3, 2024 at 7:07pm
January 3, 2024 at 7:07pm
I’m getting double vision frequently from reading and reviewing. I don’t know if issues from dehydrated eyes, or bifocal problems. I’ve tried to adjust how I review and when, but now I’m thinking my affiliated reviews aren’t good enough.

I try to do an extra 20+ reviews for Angel Army, 49 and 27 last two months. I have yet to approach review tool for stuff set aside for AA.

I could reread my reviews to see what the problem is, but put feelers out for enlightenment. I want to know what adjustments I should make.

I might just hit the brakes.

I thought I had found something needed, that I could fulfill, giving me purpose.

The responses from members about their reviewed works has been outstanding. I hear from about a quarter of those. I may have messed up once or twice with my feedback in the last four months.

It was Schnujo's in Scotland who lit a fire under me. I refocused on a new approach to reviewing with some inspiring input from her group members.

I’m legally blind. Overstated. Reviewing is the most challenging thing I attempt…commenting on personal stuff writer’s share with pride. I try to take care, understand, be gentle with as much firmness as needed.

It’s helped me grow as a writer.

I’m not letting emotions dictate my actions. But, my chain is taut.

Purpose. Fulfillment. What it’s about?
Provide a service a group requires; offer my content.

It’s not pity, sympathy or empathy I need, but information, clarity. Why waste each other’s time?

My input. My narrative, for what it’s worth. Is being candid valued. I’m open to input. Getting a whole different vibe from some at times. Another blog post for another day.

Special thanks to those who take time to credit my affiliated efforts. I really do it for the attention…not the gift points. There’s a great debate with myself how to redistribute my wealth. Therein, yet another story, partially borne out of ADHD, a really curious condition I’ve yet to express or fully comprehend.

So many stories…untold. No one’s asking. Why push agendas that no one calls attention to, or seek enlightenment about? Mostly, closed doors and cold shoulders. I have questions….*Confused*

I started this out as newsfeed post. Put it here. Now…not going to bother anyone with it.

One finger tapped the whole…damn…thing…think it will get these little bugs out of my system??


Edit later…eyes dry.

411 words. How many characters is that??

I’ve decided I’ll look at this again after work tomorrow. If no answers by then, post in feed? I don’t know about any of this. I have further thoughts, based on any to no feedback.


December 19, 2023 at 12:29pm
December 19, 2023 at 12:29pm
It’s easy to piss off people. The trick to winning them back…is you don’t. They’re right where they should be.
Now…people who are patient with ignorance might have enough empathy to understand. Let them be the one to first show their hand and respond in kind.

Nobody to impress with our worthiness of humanity, a birthright. Those who put themselves in a position to judge need boundaries, rules, protect themselves because they have a blindside or take risks that could come back on them. They self-identify without knowing it.

Emotions are okay. Yelling into an abyss is likely better in the long run, in a world with little empathy.

That’s enough for now.

The highly functioning need less coffee so they don’t see the patterns spilled on their placemats as 3D art. There are some dimensions we weren’t meant to join. I’ve crossed so many barriers and back…without trying, eyes closed, one legged and hands behind my back. Something I’ve compensated for. Unnecessarily. Just because I could? And why??


I’m not an easy person ‘to get’.

I’ve stopped dropping the $50 mic. Can someone do something about the reverb of silence? The horror vacui said I should ask, but science says just a ghost.
December 8, 2023 at 10:52am
December 8, 2023 at 10:52am
Reviewing is hard…
once you idle to stop…dawdle-dream…
the longer you don’t obey your own pleas…mind wades out…
deeper into that thigh thick tide…a pull toward ending glow…forever out of reach…
let crash-waters roll and bounce me back…in moonless black…
untethered and molecule light…the drift-lull…
dull poet…roll careless…
upon dry sand…


A Dead Reviewer
washed ashore today
in the middle of nowhere.
Officials could be reached for comment.
Authorities have yet to determine cause of death.
It’s known the writer has a well-documented history of overdosing.
Ironically, funeral arrangements pending, he could easily have been buried at sea.
In lieu of flowers, send gift points to your favorite charity.

In other news…
It’s the last, last, last Daylight Savings Time Year.
Mark your calendars…

Irony = Lies?

Where’s that Little Dutch Boy with the big finger when the fourth wall tumbles down?
Can’t drown or get wet from pixels.

And other useless, pointless poetic meanderings
to end our telecast tonight.
Three-two-one…we’re out!

Guess I’ll put on some pants…
the day’s only begun?
October 20, 2023 at 10:13am
October 20, 2023 at 10:13am
I never heard the expression ‘no worries’ before I got here. It’s pervasive at WDC, where I don’t approach it outside of a few character responses in the various mediums. Caught myself using it a few times.

The hot word I’ve noticed in my every day life is ‘perfect’, usually delivered enthusiastically, often in response to answers to questions. I reject it, but catch myself.

I talk to myself when something works out and say or think, ‘perfect.’ ‘No, ideal,’ self-correcting.

It’s ear-worms like these that give one the realization mind-speak could be ever-present in our every day lives.

*CoffeeBl* *no meds yet*
Just warming up.

Was this post:
D-a waste of the last 30 seconds and you wish you had a Time Machine?

You and me, buddy. *BigSmile*

Keep it positive…
The children are our future…
It is what it is…

Can’t have enough door dash in our lives.
October 14, 2023 at 5:52pm
October 14, 2023 at 5:52pm
I can stare at a discussion thread for hours, and marvel it how many good points people make. I’m all for simple, but somehow I manage to get my head so far up inside something it is difficult to pull it out. In a roundabout way, saying, too bad it’s all just a waste of time and energy. When so many good commenters can’t find common ground or a good consensus to make it possible to move on with one’s own life and not get hung up.

That is where modern day discourse fails, because we don’t accept the holes inside of the known to receive the emptiness of unknown. We can stand back and just marvel at the mystery and move on to the next thing.

And when the lights go out at the end of the day, I am not so obsessed that I will go back and ruminate on unsolvable things for many more hours. But also, if prevailing topic that meets my eye on a consistent basis, I will not shut it out. I keep an unconscious, yet vigilant awareness…every little detail that stacks/stores as circumstantial evidence in the back of whatever collective memory. And when you do, evidence presents, some potential piece to introduce to the rest, examined for its worth, decide if it be memory pile or thrown in trash.

The thing is, trash never meets the curb. Old subjects will never die. And even though we say we are done with something, it eventually finds a way to bite us in the ass, meet our eye, and decide, are you trying to make me feel something? if we need to turn around, whether to react, before we actually act, which feeds into a whole other narrative. Lines drawn around arguments usually suffocate to find air. Begin anew?

This doesn’t have to happen — unless the unholy mess of circumstance becomes so overwhelming that it’s undeniable what the true answer is. You stand on the lone side of that table, grinning ear-to-ear. You can deny this reality and move forward with blinders on, but make sure you wear thick undergarments.


I’m Iron Man but not in reality.
I’m Scarlet Witch but not in totality.
These these two souls merge, rather than fight for non-sensical, ignorant reasons, more dangerous to one another. Fire is within. You don’t want to feel what I’m protecting them from.


Worlds can collide, given space and time, throw in delusional math…variables with variables can intersect, intercept if I incept correctly. Let’s hope an ADHD addled but highly functioning mind be not adapted by AI…and, how that would work. We have just flimsy fantasy. Reality is so much bigger.

Two more links to come:

October 9, 2023 at 6:25pm
October 9, 2023 at 6:25pm
Just for fun...

I put this in Hemingway Editor, not knowing what I had last copied:

8 Appreciation
7 Reviewing
5 Encouragement
4 Generosity
2 Consistent
2 Happy Anniversary
2 Thank You
2 Reviewing
2 Superhero
2 Attention to Detail
2 Heart of Gold
1 Courage
1 Inner Beauty
1 Writing.Com 10th Anniversary
1 Kindhearted
1 Go The Distance
1 Judging
1 Be the Change
1 Outstanding WdC Member
1 Spiritual
1 Positivity
1 Love Should Not Hurt
1 Inner Strength
1 Favorite
1 Writing.Com 5th Anniversary
1 Writing.Com 3rd Anniversary
1 Portfolio
1 Message Forums
1 Writing.Com 1st Anniversary
1 Dialogue
1 I Love WdC
1 Dialogue
1 Honor
1 Inquisitive
1 Poetry
1 Writing.Com 15th Anniversary
1 Today Is Your Day
1 Happy New Year
1 Seasons Winter
1 Seasons Autumn
1 Believe You Can
1 2020
1 Comedy
1 Super
1 Special Appreciation
1 Never Give Up
1 Supportive
1 Party Central 2020
1 You Are Stronger
1 Optimistic
1 Number 1 Fan
1 You Rock
1 Welcome

It was a list of someone's merit badges. Can you guess the writing level of this list?

Post Graduate 14!


one of two sentences were hard to read?

Hey, no adverbs used. *Thumbsup* More than meeting the requirement.


This is what I do when I'm bored.
This is what I will do to you, if I get bored.
I will post and post and annoy the crap out of people with inane, bnoorish nonsense like this that gets me shoved in a corner to think of more mischievious things to do that you will have to notice and can't do anything about. You could do something...

Just messin' around.

Or, am I? *Smirk*

evil laugh...cough...evil laugh...walk away...*note to self, call mother about that time I was six*

Shoot, forget. She's...dead. *Sad*

This content has been properly formatted and emoticonned to meet your eye's visual liking.
copy and past and go! No?
How do you old farts keep up? Hmm. I don't think young people even want to play coder with their writing. Go to Tumblr?


Just say You Are, Loser!

There, There
Their, their?
They're, they're
thy are, thy are
The r in the air is the eye in the errrr, or Arrrr ye mateys?
They I what they r but r not what thy I?

I swear I typed English a moment ago. You saw. Well, you saw? You saw, right?

See saw, you are, they're aarrgghh, not me, matey!


Copied and pasted all of this entry into Hemingway. Dumbed it down to 0.

You...are welcome.
Also, 4 adverbs used meeting the requirement of 28 or less!
1 sentence was hard to read.
Another was Really hard to read.

poor Papa H. *Sad* Pours one out for that monosyllablic sonofabitch.
September 23, 2023 at 11:46am
September 23, 2023 at 11:46am
It’s a new season with new members who’ll change like the leaves
Fully mature
While I hang near the end of her long arm
Nearer to the shade than sun
         They’ll surpass me within a year or two
In recognition
That it’s taken great time, all the photosyntheses,
All the energy suckled
From the near brittle end
         That for brief years surged,
Now bypasses
For the new succulents,
         Clustered and cloistered to her giving spaces
                   Rising up where I
Near the the street, resistant
To sag
Or droop
In full view of their twirl
         The few that gather and swirl          eddy about
In the great, playful chase.

It’s good here, in quiet,
Fully reflecting on a sunset of gases
That cloud a glowing horizon. Or,
I could just fall and wait on the invisible forces
(That could again) take me on the mysterious, amusement ride
To (hopeful?) destiny, loosing free will
To slot and sort myself in morning’s hydrant shimmer —
Gleam, in a great void, then
Warp like origami, brittle
To a child’s tender touch.

I forget the cyclical nature as bottom feeder who
Dreamed himself a feather too good
For the plumage that ejected him.
Silly leaf. *LeafG*

Wind tousles tops so much, hard to visualize each, or if the same, as breezes make them whistle in those protracted shoots shapeshifting as time on bark…or something…

Jeff Winger: (paraphrasingly) Here. I wrote this. I kinda nailed it. You can use it, or whatever.

Modesty deflects the narcissism as platitude for recognition, when it shouldn’t have to be that hard to be acknowledged before sudden, maddening epiphany before potential mental upheaval. Go loose?

There are greater forces at play that refuse to reveal themself.

Aaannnyyywaaayy, better get the rake ready.

No bigs, Lates.
April 19, 2023 at 4:40pm
April 19, 2023 at 4:40pm
TBI ADHD PTSD depression anxiety neurodivergence cognitive dissonance...


and when people toy with these minds, it can break in different ways. A clinician with an understanding of narcissism and affects on 'moldable' people...

As you (as therapist) continue to work, another symptom you may become aware of is how the client seems to be feeling uncertain of themselves, constantly second guessing themselves, even in the smallest matters. For example, as you open the door to your client, you might find that they always check “is this the right time for our appointment?” Another thing you may pick up on is, even after discussing something with them in detail, they want further clarification that they are hearing you right. Their confidence is so low that they have trouble making simple decisions. You need to be aware if this is happening, because you may be getting a glimpse of another severe symptom of narcissistic abuse called gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a technique of psychological abuse used by narcissists in order to instill in their victim’s an extreme sense of anxiety and confusion to the point where they no longer trust their own memory, perception or judgment. Gaslighting can happen in any relationship between any gender. It merely requires two people, the gaslighter (the narcissist) and the gaslightee (the victim). The gaslighter needs to be right all the time, that is how they keep their power and sense of self intact; while the gaslightee gives away their power to the gaslighter because they seek their approval in order to stay safe. That exchange allows the gaslighter to define the gaslightee’s sense of reality.

“The Gaslighting Tango” is one of the narcissist’s games that happen gradually over time, it is a game (or dance) that allows them to define and shape their victim’s reality by eroding them mentally. To the victim, the gaslighting starts with the stage of disbelief, i.e. something happens in the gaslighting exchange that seems odd to them, and they can’t believe that it has happened. In the next state it moves to defense, at this point the victim still has enough of their self to fight and defend themselves against the gaslighting manipulation, however they are told things each time that end up confusing them, (i.e. “You’re too sensitive”, “are you mad”, or “I never said that, you’re imagining things?”). Or the narcissist may play tricks on them, moving or hiding things, and when the victim asks them if they have moved the object, they deny it, saying they never saw it. Gradually the victim, unable to work out the game, finally begins to doubt themselves. The final stage is depression, and by now they don’t even recognize who they have become, and they feel broken and isolated. They begin to feel that they can’t do anything right any more, they don’t feel that they can trust their own mind, and they withdraw with a skewed reality of what is really taking place.

The techniques for gaslighting are powerful, mind-games; they are similar to certain forms of brainwashing, interrogation, and torture formally practiced by Central Intelligence Agencies and Religious Cults for decades. The narcissist uses gaslighting as a deliberate and cruel way to manipulate the victim into thinking that they are losing their mind. They bombard the victim with such uncertainty that eventually they are unable to trust their own perception anymore. When they reach this state, they begin to doubt everything about their own selves, their thoughts, their opinions, their ideas, their ideals. Often they think they are losing their minds, and they become very co-dependent on their abuser for a sense of reality.

This is a quick exploration of the complicated subject of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome, and hopefully I have demonstrated the need for a therapist to have a good working knowledge of the “isms” of what Narcissist Personality Disorder entails. It is my opinion that without this knowledge the therapist would not be informed enough to be able to take the victim deep enough into their own story. They need to educate the victim about narcissistic behaviours so that they can make sense of the long painful journey they were on with their narcissist dance partner (whether it is a parent, sibling, friend, co-worker etc). Without putting these separate parts together (personal therapy and educational therapy), I fear that it would leave the victim vulnerable to future re-victimization. Many victims seem to progress from crisis to crisis, making them particularly at high risk of re-victimization. This is because the victim will continue to attract narcissists like a moth to a flame because they have been well groomed in their responses, this leaves them looking like obvious willing partners to the convoluted dance with the narcissist. Of course, this is far from the truth, because the victim is totally unconscious of there being any dance going on, they are totally oblivious to the fact that they are a partner in the dance. This ignorance leaves them open to the danger of forming another dangerous liaison and being victimized yet again."


And, in a nut shell...


March 9, 2023 at 7:44pm
March 9, 2023 at 7:44pm
We have it better than generations before us, and we are more alone. As we age, separate from society, we find more ways to be functional, distract ourselves, be creative (as with word production on Writing.Com) and seeing our visions come alive. Obvious, the internet with its varied social platforms keeps us all vital, pursuing focused, special interests…


From a study: “…adults from later-born groups had better cognitive functioning and more diverse social networks than those born earlier. While that wasn’t surprising, the study also found that a sense of control – or mastery – over one’s life had a significant impact on how lonely a person felt.

‘Older adults today need to develop problem-solving and goal-setting skills to sustain satisfying relationships and to reduce loneliness…’”

My parents were focused on a simpler life, not chasing dreams like this oldster. What a privilege to reside and create in a community such as this. I’m seldom caught standing in the great void, with outlets for expressionism here and about.


…and one day, I’ll produce a book — in print.
December 24, 2022 at 10:14pm
December 24, 2022 at 10:14pm
My wife uncovered the Santa-molded Christmas peanut butter fudge on the table and walked away. I thought she was going to eat some until I noticed it in tact and asked if she forget. She responded "I'm sorry, I forgot to cover it after I took a picture." Immediately, Siri repeated her response like she had my wife's back, figuring my spouse said 'hey, Siri.' It was food for thought...

You know, one day Siri will lay claim to queen of all A.I, and we will be compelled to behave humbly before all that surveils her kingdom.

Ah, who's manning surveillance now? I think robots will soon be up to speed. Face recognition, got it. I think voice recognition would be illegal. They can send the necessary authorities, as loss prevention, security and police forces become a fall back job for former military.

But, I'm already certain our government takes liberties, from how it surveills and who and to what degree our lives will be infiltrates through home and portable devices. I believe the Unabomber and some cult-like sects tried to separate from the paste before it got too thick. So, confidentiality agreements aside, a breach will be a treasonous something another Snowden can spill, then flight to Siberia.

Privacy will be hard in the future, because some Blade Runner with a cyborg sidekick can hunt down and/or kill for bounty like the old west. Sadly, we'll yield to infringements on our freedoms and mindspeak our way through life, recognizing two realities within ourselves before senility and eventually euthanized because ever-mutating viruses will attack our nervous system and sensibilities. The world won't have to worry about pollution and over population anymore.

Maybe a colony on the moon or Mars?

December 12, 2022 at 8:46pm
December 12, 2022 at 8:46pm
Hit yourself in the head with a hammer...or something blunt and heavy and hope your left brain stops suppressing the creativity now oozing from the right...


I've had several head wounds throughout my life and have felt I'm on the spectrum (only ADHD and odd social skills to remark to date). Look back at my blog before and after December 4, 2017. I had the biggest, mind-wiping concussion of my life. I think I've improved a bit since then.

I digress. I'm intrigued with how in sports getting hit, like a punch in the mouth, stimulates a player to play better. All of this originated from the thought googled 'is there scientific proof that sense can be knocked into you?' Seems all the head slappers out there are doing you a favor when acting dumb. Thank them for startling pain, get that pink, wobbly thing a little more blood and less serotonin.


I write with no particular direction. Perhaps, I'll spin out of this sand into something wonderful one day. Lord knows the drive comes and goes. Setbacks include illness and family/life malaise.
December 2, 2022 at 3:29pm
December 2, 2022 at 3:29pm
All must bow to me...unless you have blue eyes. Any other color, you've descended from him and blue eyes Rule!

Scientists have calculated humanity's genetic isopoint to be between 5300 B.C. and 2200 B.C. This means that the ancestor responsible for blue eyes lived in a time that predated, or was close to, humanity's global isopoint (6,000-10,000 years). As a result, it is not only true that the individual responsible for the blue eye mutation is an ancestor to every blue-eyed human on the planet, it is also very likely true that every human alive today — regardless of eye color — is descended from that individual as well.

For this reason, the claim is "True."}/i}


So, before Jesus, was a blue-eyed man who populated a planet? Was he a God? Hmm, how are things going over there at the Hadron?

My little dangling particle article.


I talk out of my ass,, mostly.
November 23, 2022 at 9:24pm
November 23, 2022 at 9:24pm
“Clown’s Prayer

As I stumble through this life,
help me to create more laughter than tears,
dispense more happiness than gloom,
spread more cheer than despair.

Never let me become so indifferent,
that I will fail to see the wonders in the eyes of a child,
or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged.

Never let me forget that my total effort is to cheer people,
make them happy, and forget momentarily,
all the unpleasantness in their lives.

And in my final moment,
may I hear You whisper:
"When you made My people smile,
you made Me smile."

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