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My journal about my conversion to Judaism. |
| I started writing my conversion story in June 2023, even though it started before then. It will not be in chronological order as I remember things from the past that brought me to this point in my life. My decision to convert was not an easy one. I grew up Pentecostal. I watched my grandma speak in tongues. My aunt played keyboard in the church band. I used to attend church (a member of a Baptist church for many years) 3 to 4 times a week. I did not start my journey of healing after my divorce and expect to end up here. However, my desire and work to grow closer to G-d has left me no doubt or question about where I am now. I have no hesitation in my conversion to Judaism. This is my story of leaving Christianity and becoming a part of a people that I will be able to, one day, proudly say that I am also. A Jew. |
| I think my stress level has hit a new high. I love that I am moving onto the next step, but doing this is hard. I couldn't move to the community without a job first. Now that I have a job, I need housing quick. However, I am still under contract with my apartment until the end of September. I am now frantically trying to find a place to live, doing entry paperwork for my new job, registering for workshops that are weeks before I was told my start date would be, and wondering how I am going to move once I find a place and be able to afford rent on both places on top of a down payment. I had to turn down the second job offer, which I have never done before, turn down another job interview, which I have never done before, and tell my boss that I am going to resign my position for a new job. I am emotionally spent by hurting others because I am abandoning them. I don't want to do anything. I just want to lay in my bed and cry. I know I need to do this. When I am all set up and the school year has started, and when I am settled in a new place, I know I will be okay. That day, however, is not today. Today I am not okay. I do not like this step of conversion at all. I love you Hashem. I trust you Hashem. |
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