A bitch that viciously turns on her owner must have been provoked. Betrayed by the one she loved, trusted, needed...her thoughts have become perilous and her actions follow in the full suit many refer to as insane.
Yes, indeed it sure is. I finally got up the nerves to call him this morning. I heard him in the background. He shouted down to his mother, "Tell her that I'm sleep and will call her later." I could feel another piece of my ground heart fall. He used to call constantly and certainly would get the phone when I called. I guess now that he knows that he has my heart, he has no use for me other than the occassional conjigal visit. Those leave me happy physically until the euphoric feeling where off and the lies generated in the heat of the moment become apparent all over again.
Am I some sort of dunce to think each time that it is the end of the games and that he's going to act right? Each time he sends me to heavenly plains...high, high, high, which makes my fall that much harder.
Yes, and oh how true this is. I swore that I'd never be like my mother. Although I've escaped some of the more sabotaging behavior, she still lurks in the recesses of my genes...my mind. I have quite a vivid depiction of what I was up against in my port in the folder, They Knew My Name. It's the only story there named, NO! I'm Not Scared. When I had my first child, I was scared to death of harming him since by then I'd learned the relevance of familiarity and its effects as it pertained to generational behavior.
It's amazing what people learn from their parents. I used to say that I would never act the way my parents did. More and more, I realize that even though I don't want to be like them, I still have some of their characteristics.
It is always a wonderful time in Sugaree's world! God bless you, girl! I've been shot at several times. Been hit twice. I wish it had been over a whore! LOL! Don't worry about the cigarettes either. I tried once. I turned all green and messed up looking. Lord, I didn't want to die an ugly corpse. What would all my girlies half my age think? I couldn't bring myself to disappoint them. So I started smoking again and looking good again! I don't cheat or lie to my wife, either. I'm only "fooling"!!!! LOL!
Oh noooo! Say it isn't so! Thirty years?! Dang. I was hoping that I'd find the answer BEFORE I laid down for eternal sleep. If I am still alive in thirty years, I probably wont give a crock, granted senility hasn't taken over and I even know what 'writing' is any longer. Hmmm.
Do you write scripts?
How did you find my blog? Or what prompted you to view mine? I've always wondered what the folk that read this darned crazy blog of mine thought. Surely, with most of it, the readers must think I'm completely nuts. LOL. I just rant and rave on and on. Men troubles make ya go there, as you might already know.
I've been trying to figure that one out for 30 years now. I've got the same problem. I suppose hitting the lottery would solve this, but too much money causes more distraction. I'm shooting for five thousand dollars now. That would be just enough to cover the rent for a year. I'd take the year off just to write my "epic". It's feasible. All I need is five grand in one lump sum. Maybe I'll buy a scratchoff tomorrow!
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